Welcome to Chiditagate 2008. The scandal of the century.

It has come to our attention that - for the first time EVER - shenanigans have occurred at Chiditarod! During the prizing session, Windy City Rollers Team B (WCR B) lodged a formal challenge regarding the accuracy of their timecard and the awarding of the coveted first place trophy and cash prize, claiming that the times of team Killjoy and WCR B had somehow been falsified. At the time, we - the judges - were awarding prizes based upon the information provided to us by volunteers who assisted in tallying the race cards, who in our naivety we assumed maintained integrity surrounding the accuracy of time card information.

Post-race, we reviewed the race cards and noticed possible foul play. Later, video produced by the stealth journalism of media ninja Brad Flora and the Methods Reporter team revealed the shocking truth - team Killjoy had used their wits and face masks to snag the first place trophy by falsifying time cards!

Chiditarod is an ever-evolving tidal wave of awesome, intrigue, and mayhem. As you are fully aware, part of this mayhem involves creative sabotage staged between the various teams. A certain amount of bribery has been rumored to occur at checkpoints, also. However, to preserve Chiditarod's integrity as a 'race', we must draw the line and say (with as straight a face as possible) that tampering with timecards falls outside the realm of 'legal' competition.

First and foremost, we must still congratulate Killjoy on a race well taken! Their subterfuge and chicanery are consistently in a league of their own. We also recognize the effort that they put into taking the first place trophy from the stage on race day. Whether they be acting as Killjoy or as Corporate Dalliance, we have yet to catch this team in the act of totally outsmarting us, which they tend to do on a regular basis. Hats off, gentlemen. Hats off.

However, from this moment onwards we declare the WCR B team 1st Place in the 2008 Chiditarod. A second awards ceremony will begin at 10 pm on Saturday, March 29, after the Windy City Rollers derby bout, at the Cobra Lounge. During this ceremonial gathering, Chiditarod competitors WCR B will be awarded another trophy and cash prize for their swiftness and overall Chiditarod bad-ass-itude. At the same time, we honor Killjoy for their cat-like ninja reflexes. We will also be pouring one out for our fallen bretheren. We hope that you will join us for further shenanigans at the Cobra to honor these two teams, the spirit of the Chiditarod, and the Cobra's weekly drink specials. We'll try to get some drink specials worthy of Chiditarodders everywhere.

Where do we go from here?

As this year's race was over twice as large as 2007, with over 80 teams participating, Chiditarod itself will continue to evolve. Chiditarod organizers will be taking proactive measures to ensure the race continues to become smoother, more secure, less filling, and more epic. If that's even possible.

Oh, and y'all totally rule.

Mush.

Killjoy photo by Nick Campbell.

Windy City Rollers photo by Methods Reporter.