CHIditarod IX

29,007 Meals for the Hungry

21,788 Pounds of Food Collected

$40,255 Raised to Fight Hunger in Chicago

On March 1, 2014, twelve hundred women, men, gladiators, spies, flight attendants, greasers, highlanders, bananas, knights, and enthusiastic mushers gathered on a brisk 17 degree morning to create the annual spectacular costumed charity shopping cart race and epic mobile food drive — CHIditarod IX. The mercury never rose above freezing, yet that failed to dissuade nearly 400 volunteers and 150 teams of 5 heavily-costumed humans from raising food and funds to fight hunger in Chicago while racing tricked-out shopping carts through 5 themed checkpoint establishments on the frozen streets of Chicago. This is CHIditarod.


Food Drive

tons of food-alexa-razma

Most. Epic. Yet. We playfully call ourselves “probably the world’s largest mobile food drive“, and we are truly awed and impressed by the acomplishments of our teams. The CHIditarod IX food drive will provide 29,007 meals worth of food for the Greater Chicago Food Depository. Chiditarod’s checkpoints participated by hosting food barrels before and during race day, with totals forthcoming.

Winner :: Best in Food Drive

Team Chidiots in Chiditarod IX. Photo by chrystyne
The Chidiots team — winner of 2014′s Most Overall Food award — collected 3,293 pounds, which destroyed all single team day-of collection records. Their cart was a giant pacman, that you could actually play. They also won ChiditaBowl. Serious winning, here. Honorable mention goes to Jack & The Distillers with a massive 2,917 pounds. By their powers combined, these two epic teams collected a whopping one-third of the total food brought to the race by ALL participants. It’s an honor to work with such fine human beings.

Art Carts

2014 Best Art Cart - Dragstars

CHIditarod IX enjoyed some amazing art carts this year. CHIditarod’s artistry has never been richer as teams amazed onlookers, judges, and each other with the most elaborate, interactive, and fun themes ever concocted. Teams Dragstars and Top Fool Racers teamed up to transform a couple of carts into rubber-burning drag-racing dragsters. They idled back from the main pack, allowed the path to clear, then left us all in a cloud of smoke. These feats of cart engineering were 18 feet long at least! The Derailers returned decked out in matched leather jackets, astride choppers, pulling their own retro pumping station. And to round out an incredible showing, both teams fundraised (awesomely).


Epic Fundraising

Our Racers, volunteers, checkpoints, and organizers — with the help of their families, friends, and communities, raised $40,255 for the CHIditarod Foundation. These dollars will support community-centered initiatives that address hunger, food scarcity, and education through our 2014 CHIditarod grant program, which donated $20,000 to Chicago-based charities in 2013. If your 501(c)3 organization is interested in applying for consideration for a grant, please contact us.

The Area Three Allstars, one of CHIditarod’s most fabled teams — and winner of the 2014 Most Epic Fundraiser award — raised $4,502 through a multitude of fundraising initiatives. They were hotly followed by The Derailers with $4,005* and Gutterballs at $2,573* (amounts at the time of the awards ceremony).

While CHIditarod focuses awards on our racers, of equal if not greater importance are the 400 brave and selfless volunteers that make CHIditarod happen. Volunteers are truly the MVPs of CHIditarod, joining in the fundraising this year with epic results — raising a combined total of more than $7,300! Special mention goes to Cindy Hogan ($375), Beth Mygind ($330), the Bike Marshal squadron ($665) and the Coreganizers ($5923.24).

The Gutterballs @ starting line 2014. Photo by Philamonjaro

Best In Show, People’s Choice Award

When a basically life-size airplane cart and a team of gorgeous cross-dressing stewardesses came through registration we knew we had seen a winner, and our racers knew too! This year’s Best in Show AND People’s Choice award goes to the Chubby Stewardesses, who put on an awesome show of true ‘Rod spirit. Stay classy, Chubby Stewardesses– we’ll always fly your friendly skies.
Here are some shoutouts from our racers:

Their cart was TIGHT – construction, paint, integrated speakers…, outfits well-suited, incorporated gifts into their cart, kept it light, fun, funny, and festive.

They gave me kisses with their bright red lipstick and a little bottle of liquor. MY FAVORITE KIND OF LIQUOR.

Chubby Airlines has a runway guide guy and a passenger waiting in advance at each checkpoint when they arrived. Impressive prep for a joke. Cannot say enough about how incredibly well executed they were, down to every detail… the pilot, if you spoke to him, would only answer you via the radio mic, starting with “this is your captain speaking”… just genius.

The Chubby Stewardesses were always in character, cheerful, rocking the costumes boldly in the cold and snow, very positive people.

Best in Show runner up went to the Disco Death Star, however as cart-abandoning Wall-of-Shamers they are being stripped of their title! Therefore, second place Best In Show goes to the Chidiots (ChiditaBowl and food donation champions), who played a giant game of Pacman through the Chicago streets.

Third place Best in Show goes to Raiders of the Lost Cart, who built a ginormous rolling boulder on their cart. Fortunately, their dashing Indy didn’t end up smooshed in Wicker Park!

Best Sabotage

The 2014 first place Sabotage team, CJ Ownz is once again are awarded the title. They leveraged their now-traditional style via Willy Wonka-style Chiditarod Golden Tickets screwed on to the wheels of rival teams’ carts. The screws were stripped and unremovable save by a feat of superhuman strength (and bike marshal tools). All hail, CJ Ownz, three-time Sabotage champions, and all around good guys who take their cart home!

cj ownz - 2014 - dashing mugshot

 

Team # Team Name Awards
545 Area 3 Allstars #1 Most Epic Fundraiser, 1st Place Time – Fastest Dog
405 The Derailers 2nd Most Epic Fundraiser, 2nd Best Art Cart
512 Gutterballs Food Drive – 3rd Place, 3rd Most Epic Fundraiser
401 & 402 The Top Fool Racers, The DragStars
a.k.a The Secret Gentlemen’s Club
Best Art Cart
559 3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 8th Ed/ Best Use of Duct Tape
539 Chiditiots Most Food Donated, Action-Squad Dynasty Award of Epic Awesomeness, 2nd Best in Show
460 Ben Stillarod 2nd Place Time
466 Red, White, and Blue Bachelors 3rd Place Time
449 Kentucky Colonels Hot Mess Award (1 of 3)
487 M.B.U. – The Mobile Beer-Pong Unit Ate the Yellow Snow: Most Honorable Dishonorable Mention
498 Red Army Coreganizer Wildcard
540 Spit, Semen, and Bill Brasky Spirit of Chiditarod
494 Spring Break Forever Hot Mess Award (2 of 3)
518 The Chubby Stewardesses Best in Show, People’s Choice Award
452 The Enablers Best Bribe
557 CJ Ownz Best Sabotage
473 Weekend at Bernies Chicago Nerd Social Club Trophy
403 Hobo-Q Best Food Cart
418 Jack and the Distillers Food Drive – 2nd Place, First Team to Register
470 Everything is Awesome (Carts Against Humanity) Rookie of the Year Award
522 YouuuKNOWWW! DFL
519 Boozin’ Away Hunger – Jen Coreganizer Award for Best NAIL Art!
553 Golden Girls Gone Wild Lotties Talent Contest Winner – Show Your Stuff
556 Evil Bunnies Dressed to the Nines: Best Team Costume
558 El-Coholics Hot Mess Award (3 of 3)
479 Disco Death Star 2nd Best in Show - WALL OF SHAME
465 The Red Menace 3rd Place Time, Best Sabotage – WALL OF SHAME

Race Timing Totals

Team Number Team Name Time
545 Area 3 Allstars #1 2:34:19
460 Ben Stillarod 2:50:53
466 Red, White, and Blue Bachelors 2:54:57
465 The Red Menace 2:57:56
492 Butchers Union – Red Team 2:58:03
555 Plethora of Pinatas 3:01:28
558 El-Coholics 3:09:33
439 Balto’s Pack 3:13:16
435 Five (5) Dollar Wow 3:15:20
429 We’re Not Camels 3:17:23
421 Skeeballerz 3:19:18
524 Larry Dangerous 3:24:55
479 Disco Death Star 3:26:40
456 The Mustache Rides 3:27:15
448 Polar Vortici 3:27:31
502 Tractor Treats 3:27:49
418 Jack and the Distillers 3:29:12
462 Shopping Cartier 3:29:51
423 Wall of Shame 2.0 3:32:20
434 Demo Duck 3:32:27
431 The 80′s Ladies 3:33:02
452 The Enablers 3:33:40
480 We’re the jelly 3:40:20
547 The Majestic Unicorns 3:41:13
491 Seaworld 3:41:31
472 HAUSKART 3:46:05
469 Frowzy Urban Cromwellian Kart Squadron 3:48:25
438 Team USA Curling 3:48:40
514 Chi’IL Squad 3:52:02
417 Team Ventra the II 3:54:41
453 Team Sparkling Ponies 3:55:51
499 Graceland Express 3:56:03
539 Chidiots 3:59:11
440 Chi-beria 4:00:54
517 Fox News 4:02:51
413 Off Your Trolley 4:03:06
544 Polymeracers 4:03:16
419 Girls Gotta Eat 4:04:30
538 Half Naked 4:04:51
504 Velour Comets 4:05:07
463 Jungle Fever 4:06:16
484 Danger Zone 4:07:53
482 You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling 4:08:06
455 The Handsome Mens’ Club 4:08:57
552 Tune Squad 4:09:10
543 Stunning Chicks with Power Kicks 4:10:14
441 Chillin’ Like a Villain 4:11:23
450 I ah pokah ma head out 4:11:44
420 Everything is Good Wrapped in Bacon 4:12:04
507 BATTL 4:14:21
512 Gutterballs 4:14:28
445 The Chi-king Raiders 4:15:37
509 Grossly Out Of Shape 4:18:06
442 The Chicago Chrononautical Society 4:18:13
475 Shark Tank 4:21:24
470 Everything Is Awesome (Carts Against Humanity) 4:22:48
531 Taste the Rainbow 4:25:59
443 Grin and Con Air It 4:27:15
505 Ballers & Shot Callers 4:28:18
556 Evil Bunnies 4:28:25
437 Where’s the Batman? 4:30:30
537 The Dark side of the Carp 4:31:31
534 Game of Carts Team 1 4:32:53
518 The Chubby Stewardesses 4:35:10
498 Red Army 4:36:42
548 Bethlehem 4:43:48
510 SHARK WEEK 4:46:01
468 Little Red Riding Food 4:47:45
459 The Dead Ringers 4:51:28
409 KISStory Lessons 4:52:29
551 Drunk like Tyrion 4:54:17
486 Deer Pong 4:55:55
471 Party Penguins 5:06:49

CHIditarod Foundation Fundraising

Team # Team Name Fundraising Total
Coreganizers $5923.24
405 Derailers $4032.14
419 Girls Gotta Eat $2756.00
512 Gutterballs $2698.43
401 The Top Fool Racers (Secret Gentlemens Club) $2315.00
Checkpoint Squad Action-Squad @ Nick’s Beer Garden $2184.50
Anonymous Donations $1960.00
559 3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 8th Ed. $1590.78
Bar Donation Roots $1589.00
Bar Donation Dolphin $1320.00
459 The Dead Ringers $790.00
472 HAUSKART $714.27
421 Skeeballerz $695.00
545 Area 3 Allstars #1 $674.00** additional fundraising for GCFD = $3828.93
Checkpoint Squad Chicago Nerd Social Club @ Emporium $670.00
Volunteer Crew Chiditarod Bike Marshals $665.00
Checkpoint Squad Walcart @ Roots $630.00
504 Velour Comets $610.00
539 Chidiots $530.00
Bar Donation Lotties $510.00
Bar Donation Five Star $500.00
445 The Chi-king Raiders $495.00
521 Wigs Jacked for Jesus $475.00
460 Ben Stillarod $440.00
470 Everything Is Awesome (Carts Against Humanity) $405.00
Bar Donation Nick’s Beer Garden $400.00
Bar Donation Emporium $400.00
Bar Donation Club Foot $382.00
Checkpoint Squad Mundus Absurdus @ Phyllis’s Musical Inn $378.43
Volunteer Cindy Hogan $375.00
Bar Donation Club Lucky $371.00
Volunteer Beth Mygind $330.00
535 Queer Mishap (The Honey Buckets) $316.00
Bar Donation Bucktown Pub $300.00
411 Doge (Excuse me, which way is Giordano’s?) $230.00
462 Shopping Cartier $210.00
468 Little Red Riding Food $200.00
Bar Donation Phyllis’s Musical Inn $200.00
435 Five (5) Dollar Wow $180.00
475 Shark Tank $175.00
412 Teen-bait Mutant Ninja Spertles $130.00
510 SHARK WEEK $120.00
Food Truck Fat Shallot $105.00
Food Truck Windy City Patty Wagon $70.00
519 Boozin’ Away Hunger $60.00
484 Danger Zone $60.00
Checkpoint Squad Lottie’s Checkpoint Squad $30.00
518 The Chubby Stewardesses $15.80
501 Team Suleymonster (Mel On Wheels) $10.00
Volunteer Cristie Chamberlain $10.00

Epic Food Drive

Team Number Team Name Poundage Raised
539 Chidiots 3293.9
418 Jack and the Distillers 2917
Reggies Rock Club direct donation to GCFD 395
512 Gutterballs 292.4
529 JARTT 264.2
463 Jungle Fever 237.5
521 Wigs Jacked For Jesus 225
499 Graceland Express 167.6
415 Da Beers 167.2
492 Butchers Union – Red Team 165.5
510 SHARK WEEK 152
554 The Cart of Despair 147.8
404 Chicken Run 141
559 3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 8th Ed. 137
527 Unleashed 135.6
540 Spit, Semen, and Bill Brasky 131
555 Plethora of Pinatas 130
408 Hellzapoppin’ 129.4
435 Five (5) Dollar Wow 127
402 The DragStars 126
401 The Top Fool Racers (Secret Gentlemens Club) 124.2
518 The Chubby Stewardesses 119
422 Drunkaholics 117.4
503 Asphinctersayswhat 117
546 Area 3 Allstars #2 114.4
451 Doin’ too much 114.4
501 Team Suleymonster (Mel On Wheels) 111
474 Rhinestone Cowgirls 111
523 Nascar 110.4
478 I’ve Got Something in My Front Pocket for You 108
441 Chillin’ Like a Villain 107.2
493 Butchers Union – Black Team 106.2
558 El-Coholics 105.8
507 BATTL 104.5
411 Doge (Excuse me, which way is Giordano’s?) 104.4
504 Velour Comets 104
481 Team Ventra 103
431 The 80′s Ladies 101.6
498 Red Army 100
545 Area 3 Allstars #1 99.6
420 Everything is Good Wrapped in Bacon 99.4
491 Seaworld 97.6
434 Demo Duck 97.5
553 Golden Girls Gone Wild 97.4
471 Party Penguins 95.6
519 Boozin’ Away Hunger 95.4
437 Where’s the Batman? 94
456 Area 3 Allstars #2 93.3
446 Hungry Hungry Hippos 93.2
480 We’re the jelly 92.6
528 One Hit Wonders 92.5
511 Team Blackout 91.8
442 The Chicago Chrononautical Society 91.4
537 The Dark side of the Carp 91
502 Tractor Treats 90
458 Brew-cago 90
494 Spring Break Forever 89.2
455 The Handsome Mens’ Club 88.8
533 Polar Vortex 88
535 Queer Mishap – The Honey Buckets 87.6
466 Red, White, and Blue Bachelors 87.5
450 I ah pokah ma head out 87.2
472 HAUSKART 87
462 Shopping Cartier 86.2
514 Chi’IL Squad 86
475 Shark Tank 86
506 We GOT This 86
424 Old Style 85.8
517 Fox News 85.2
470 Everything Is Awesome (Carts Against Humanity) 84.5
413 Off Your Trolley 84.4
544 Polymeracers 83.6
543 Stunning Chicks with Power Kicks 83.5
467 Ukie Pillagers 82.5
490 Kramerica Industries 82.2
405 Derailers 81.2
495 Game of Carts Team 2 81
436 The Ghost of Abe 80.8
536 Chiberia 80.8
430 The Eh? Team 80.6
445 The Chi-king Raiders 80.5
406 Raiders of the Lost Cart 80.2
524 Larry Dangerous 79.5
438 Team USA Curling 79.5
425 Pastafar-AYES 79.2
461 The Steven Bradbury’€™s 79.2
423 Wall of Shame 2.0 79
484 Danger Zone 79
482 You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling 79
488 Birds of War 79
557 CJ Ownz 78.8
454 Mo’ Skittles 78.8
459 The Dead Ringers 78.5
440 Chi-beria 78.2
439 Balto’s Pack 78
448 Polar Vortici 78
409 KISStory Lessons 78
483 Mush It! Mush it good. 77.8
419 Girls Gotta Eat 77.6
443 Grin and Con Air It 77.5
549 Space Jam TuneSquad 77.1
550 Space Jam MonStars 77.1
530 Team Moon Cat 77
526 Gaza Strippers 77
497 Bernadette 76.5
465 The Red Menace 75.5
473 Weekend at Bernies 75.5
513 Team Red & Baby Blue 75.4
548 Bethlehem 75.2
414 Tune in Tokyo (Two) 75
469 Frowzy Urban Cromwellian Kart Squadron 74.4
509 Grossly Out Of Shape 74.4
552 Tune Squad 74.2
508 The Red Knight Rides Again 74.2
421 Skeeballerz 73
520 The American Gladiators! 73
460 Ben Stillarod 72.8
556 Evil Bunnies 72.8
505 Ballers & Shot Callers 72.6
432 Gnarwals 72.6
531 Taste the Rainbow 72
547 The Majestic Unicorns 71.2
551 Drunk like Tyrion 70.8
468 Little Red Riding Food 70
429 We’re Not Camels 69.8
541 Chitoberfest 69.6
457 Nice Cream Ice Cream 68
542 H.M.S Paula Deen 67.6
479 Disco Death Star 67.4
486 Deer Pong 67
515 Excellent Adventures 67
417 Team Ventra the II 66.8
453 Team Sparkling Ponies 66.5
489 YOLO 66.5
522 YouuuKNOWWWW!!! 66.2
452 The Enablers 65
410 Orcasm 64.2
416 Tune in Tokyo (One) 63.5
496 Always Cool 62.5
412 Teen-bait Mutant Ninja Spertles 62.5
500 Neon Boudreaux 62
487 M.B.U. – The Mobile Beer-Pong Unit 62
538 Half Naked 61.5
428 Golden Showers 61.4
485 Subliminal Tactix 61.2
449 Kentucky Colonels 61
534 Game of Carts Team 1 60
516 Team Drew TBD 60
General donation – no team 31.4
Crew Chiditarod Bike Marshals 26.4
Crew COREGANIZERS 15

Incredible Checkpoint Contributions

And while It’s hard to say enough about all the crazy-amazing-beautiful-inspiring-people that make CHIditarod possible, we continue to cherish our checkpoints through the years (new and old alike) who treat us and YOU right, we are thankful to have such great businesses in our community that love a good time.  We are THRILLED to recognize our 2014 checkpoints and new food trucks. Go support them as they support us!

PartnerDonation

Partner $$ Donated Food Raised Equivalent Meals
Bucktown Pub $300 166 lb.’s 138 meals
Club Foot $382 63 lb.’s 52 meals
Club Lucky $371 23 lb.’s 19 meals
Dolphin $1320 210 lb.’s 175 meals
Emporium Beercade $400 61 lb.’s 50 meals
Five Star $500 37 lb.’s 30 meals
Lotties $510 24 lb.’s 20 meals
Nick’s Beer Garden $400 51 lb.’s 42 meals
Phyllis’s Musical Inn $200 169 lb.’s 140 meals
Roots $1589
Chicago Cupcake $
Fat Shallot $105
Tamale Spaceship $
Windy City Patty Wagon $70

Prize, Food, Equipment & Service Donations

Donor Donation
Emporium $25 to emporium
Club Lucky $50 to club lucky
Buffalo Trace Buffalo Trace goodies (basket of stuff and some good bottles of booze)
Marco Booze
Yogaview Yoga View 1 month unlimited yoga
Liz Awesome Bowling Patch
Heyu – Richard Kelly 4 full propane tanks and propane heaters
Heyu – Richard Kelly use of propane heaters (3)
Beebop 1 burn barrel
Chicago Communications LLC Awesome radio/mic rentals
Metropolis Coffee Coffee Donation