2012 Sabotage Report

robot-graph-point-clipartSabotage is a long standing tradition of the CHIditarod. Often attempted, seldom nuanced. A minute to learn, a lifetime to master. Sabotage is an often-controversial aspect of the event within the teams. It keeps the race… interesting.

Each year, CHIditarod happily gains popularity and welcomes a controlled amount of newcomers. A result of this growth is that more unsuspecting folks become potential `easy targets` for saboteurs. For the second consecutive year, we emailed a post-race survey to all members of the CHIditarod VII teams. The following report was generated from those survey responses, focusing on:

  1. The responders’ years of participation in the CHIditarod
  2. The relationship between a racer’s level of experience and the likelihood that they dished out or received sabotage.

It has Charts and Stuff and Things.

Behold: The 2012 CHIditarod Sabotage Report.



  • An interesting find — Men are 45% more likely than women to be saboteurs.
  • First, we have a great representation among our racers in terms of age and gender. We’re happy about this. We really hope you guys keep coming out to play. We like you.
  • Second, sabotage continues to get more and more creative every year. Racers force us to re-think our sabotage taxonomy every year, because they keep doing crazier and crazier stuff.
  • Third, the trend that we thought we were seeing—of first time racers falling victim to sabotage more often—seems to be disappearing. Either we were wrong the first time around, or newbies are coming to the race wiser and more prepared, or racers are getting more equitable with their wanton destruction.
  • Fourth, since we have more males reporting acts of sabotage than females, we can assume one of two things. Either there really are more male saboteurs than female, or men just like telling their war stories in the survey more than women do. So, women, you are either much nicer, or less of a braggart. Either way, you win.

But always keep in mind:

  • We do this for our fellow Chicagoans who suffer from food insecurity.
  • We do this together because we are stronger together, as a community, than we are as individuals.
  • We do this for each other and with each other because we are all equally rad.
  • It’s all in good fun!


  • Buck up, campers, and keep being excellent to each other. Mush!

Chiditarod 2012 Results

Start of the 7th annual Chiditarod, photo by Sol Neelmn

CHIditarod VII

A smashing success! On March 3, 2012, 161 teams registered/151 teams raced and almost 275 volunteers participated in this year’s epic CHIditarod.  Teams ran a 4.8ish mile race between 5 of 8 checkpoints in Chicago’s Wicker Park, Bucktown, West Town and Ukranian Village neighborhoods.

2012-tons of foodCHIditarod catapulted its anti-hunger efforts to new heights in 2012.  Greater Chicago Food Depository benefited from this year’s food donations.  We received 12,164 pounds of food day of the race (the majority of that came in the morning; we thank you racers for getting with our new bring-your-food-to-the-starting-line program so quickly!)  Area 3 All-Stars used their prize money, fundraising and beer tips to raise a total of 15,214 12,164 ** pounds of food! CHIditarod’s total amount of food donations for the Greater Chicago Food Depository is a whopping 27,378 21,677 ** pounds — a new CHIditarod record.  The Couch Dogs team brought in the most food on race-day — a massive 260 lbs!  The Cottage Grove Heights Community Coalition and the Concerned Neighbors of Burnside were the beneficiary organizations of all monetary donations, equaling $18,500.  Our most epic monetary donations came from The Derailers with $6,126.69 raised!  This significant amount of funds will be used to establish a community garden in the Cottage Grove Heights neighborhood, which is known as a “food desert” in Chicago.

CHIditarod’s rich artistic traditions continue to evolve to greater and more elaborate heights each year.  2012 did not disappoint, with 7 Art Carts running the race.  The Atlantic City Roads Committee featured a 2 cart mobster “bootlegging operation” — complete with a mobile office where the Boss conducted “business”.  Gentleman (g)’s Photography Studio (and Definitely Not a Speakeasy) offered a fully-immersive respite from the chaos of race day and some of the best company one could hope for.  The HoboQ championed its 4th CHIditarod season, offering the best BBQ available anywhere on the North Side.  CHIditarod superstars The Derailers brought a hand-made WW1-era fighter plane complete with joystick controller, machine-gun sound effects, and a bombed-out, smoking French countryside.  And while definitely not an art cart (as they follow ALL racer rules to the letter, including fitting their cart through a standard-sized door), CHIditarod elites Action Squad conjured a 6 foot DRAGON with glowing red eyes, smoke-filled movable jaws, who answered to the name “Tim”.

The weather didn’t let us down.  There was no 50 degree day in sight, with race-day conditions topping out at a brisk 38 degrees with flurries of snow, dogs, and an occasional cat.  Any CHIditarod without rain is glorious.  Teams conquered the traditional 4.8ish miles between the traditional 5 assigned checkpoints ending at the Bottom Lounge.  CHIditarod legends Environmental Encroachment magic circus band began the race with glorious fanfare, as well as ringing in our awards ceremony at the finish line.

No CHIditarod results would be complete without a few after-the-race prizes.  As anyone who’s participated in CHIditarod will tell you – there’s far more going on than any 1, let alone 20, people can observe and acurately judge, especially in such a short amount of time.  It takes days, weeks, months for all of the pictures, footage, stories, and bruises to heal.  That’s why we honor a few select teams after the glory of race day.  This year we have two such awards.  The Coreganizer’s Choice, and the People’s Choice award.

Coreganizer’s Choice – Atlantic City Roads Committee – “The Big Shoulders Award”

Many stories about many excellent team cross our.. desk.. after the race comes to a close.  However, one team stands alone, and deserves the highest honors for their original efforts.  Here’s one of their stories, as told by a first-year volunteer.

I was at Phyllis’s helping with the Mad Libs Challenge when I was discretely tapped on my shoulder.  I then turned around to see a man dressed in a dark colored trench coat with a suit underneath and a nice hat with a feather in it.  He then whispers “Ma’am, My Boss would like to discuss some business with you in his office.”  I then replied “What kind of business is your boss in?”  He says “I cannot disclose that information at this time.  Please follow me this will only take a moment.”  So we walk out through the side door into the beer garden.  There we find the Atlantic City Roads Committee.  They had a full-on desk with wood-panelled wall backdrop, a grandfather clock, leather chair, and an old phone.  Behind them they had their car(t) and what would look like a bootlegging liquor operation.  He then explained to me they were looking to discuss a possible bribery. He needed votes and to leave this checkpoint as soon as possible for he had more business to attend to.  He then told me he deals in Whiskey.  As you can imagine my ears perked up!  I explained to him that he had come to the right lady for these sorts of dealings.  I like to talk and do a lot of it and for the right price I do my best to get him what he needs.  He then had his secretary Lady ( dressed to the 9s ) hand me a pint of Seagrams 7.  As we were in our meeting a group of my friends came up behind me and interrupted a bit.  I pointed out that I came with an entourage and it might just take a little more bribery to get the job done.  He then explained that he had a limited amount of resources but then reached into his inner pocket of his trench coat and handed me another bottle. He said he had a good feeling I would do what was needed for his team to be recognized for their efforts.  His top henchmen then politely and quietly showed me out. I and he then walked up to the time keepers and brought them Whiskey to get them moving.  Throughout our whole dubious transaction the whole team was in perfect character.  Right after their dealings at this location they then packed up their whole outfit for the next.  This team did a wonderful job at capturing the Italian-American gangster/Prohibition – era feel.  They really had the spirit of the event and what would appear what CHIditarod is looking for in the way of originality and stand out uniqueness!

This was my first year of experiencing CHIditarod.   I feel honored and blessed to have been a part of something so unique and impacting.  Thank You to everyone involved – it was truly a eye opening and inspiring event.

The People’s Choice Award – Action Squad

Action Squad Dragon Smoke 2012
As chosen by the people of CHIditarod – the racers and volunteers – on their post-rod surveys.  The overwhelming winner is Action Squad, a team that needs no introduction.  Here’s a snippet of what you – the PEOPLE – had to say about Action Squad in 2012.

A charming example of competitive spirit and chivalry all live long day.
Action Squad are very good peoples.
Awesome theme and concept.
The dragon was awesome. I honestly think it’s pretty self-explanatory.
The giant dragon was awesome, they even beheaded it!
Because they flat-out RULE!!!
Because they were nice and fun and had a great idea and were really into it.
So much work and details in their carts. Totally amazeballs!
That was a sweet cart, plus they brought the head into Bottom Lounge.
The level of detail and crafstmanship they put into their dragon cart + team outfits/character + fundraising abilities + bringing 75 lbs of food + overall good sportsmanship.
The most impressive cart I have ever seen.
Their cart was amazing and their costumes appeared period appropriate and authentic.
Their passion keeps the fire in my belly.
They have the overall spirit of CHIditarod.

This amazing event would not happen without our fantastic teams, dedicated volunteers and amazing donors. THANK YOU all for your support, participation, creativity, blood, sweat, and beers.  And for evolving CHIditarod to newer and more incredible levels each year.

2012 Prize Listing

Team # Team Name Prize Category
307 Action Squad The People’s Choice Award
300 Atlantic City Roads Commitee Coreganizer’s Wildcard – The Big Shoulders Award
302 The Derailers Most Epic Fundraiser – $6,126.69
307 Action Squad 2nd Most Epic Fundraiser – $5,155.01
343 The Glitter Girls Best in Show
Vibrancy, character, costume, theme, amazing art, rocked hard core at all the contests, fundraised during the event, tweeted like it was their job and posed for pictures with spectators along the way. 
307 Action Squad 2nd Best in Show
340 Kill Bill Volume 1 3rd Best in Show
343 The Glitter Girls Chitwitterod
Consistent Tweeting since the beginning and throughout the race, plus posted images.
349 Sofa-King Awesome! DFL
368 Team Aero 3rd Place Time
317 Jackie Treehorn and His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 2nd Place Time
314 Area 3 Allstars #1 1st Place Time
374 Heads Will Roll Photograher’s Vogue Award
They had a great pose ready for the Photo Booth and were rocking it out for the camera despite the cold.
302 The Derailers Best Art Cart
305 Hobo-Q IV Best Food Cart
Happy Ending
(Booze Hounds had 248 lbs but were not present to win)
2nd Place Food Drive – 246 lbs
155 Couch Dawgs 1st Place Food Drive – 260 lbs
314, 315, 316 Area III All-Stars teams 1, 2 & 3 Most Overall Food – 15,214 lbs
In addition to collective 151 lbs of food on the day of the race, this team procured 15,214 lbs via fundraising, making additional food purchases with tips from beers throughout the day , and by donating their prize money!
376 Team Drew (90’s Villains) Bike Marshal’s Choice
For obnoxious bullhorning in the face of misdirected anti-sabotage, followed by 80 proof redemption for the marshal squadron.  Classiest villains yet. 
308 Miss Houston, We Have a Problem Spirit of CHIditarod
Good Samaritan – For helping to Leave no Trace, picking up garbage theirs and others, for keeping the event clean.
159 The Rockford Peaches Action Squad Dynasty Award of Epic Awesomeness
Action Squad: “We gave it to them for excelling in several of Action-Squad’s core values: positive spirit, excellent costumes, and a stellar karaoke performance.”
159 The Rockford Peaches Rookie of the Year Award
Awesome attitude, awesome costumes, finished with a gusto!
191 The Breakfast Club Wannabes You’re Cherry’s Been Popped
Continually getting heinously sabotaged and kept going and going and going…
Coreganizers Coreganizer Frankie and Little Ersfeld Best Tale of Woe
For getting punched in the stomach by a stupid, now-banned team who didn’t believe she was pregnant.  Violation of rule #7.  See the Wall of Shame.
343 Glitter Girls Contest @ 5 Star – The Naughty/Nice Gong Show
320 CJ Ownz Contest @ Roots – Western Song Rewrite
189 The CHAMBions Contest @ Nicks’s – Purgatory – 2nd place
347 Get a Clue Contest @ Nicks’s – Purgatory – 1st place
315 Area III All-Stars 3 (Beatle Juice) Contest @ Darkroom – Dionysus Says…
187 Seeds of the Poisoned Apple Contest @ Phyllis’s – Madlibs
325 Dances With Bulls Contest @ Mahoney’s – Karaoke & Interpretive Dance
188 The Bluth Company Best Bribe
374 Heads Will Roll Best Sabotage
Dan Brown (t-shirt), Dimitri Acosta (patch), and Dave Zibell (flyer) Design Contest Winners

Finish Times

Consult 2012 Results – By the Numbers for complete finish times.

Food Drive Poundage

Consult 2012 Results – By the Numbers for complete tallies of food drive poundage.


Fundraising & Monetary Donations

Chiditarod partnered with WePay for our online fundraising in 2012.  WePay has the lowest rates in the industry and amazingly awesome employees.  It’s super important that Chiditarodders get the biggest bang for their buck… hooray to WePay for helping our fundraisers generate maximum funds for our anti-hunger charities.

  • Shannon Flynn – $7.00
  • Last Call (Team #354) – $55.00
  • Are You Serious Clark? (Team #344) – $90
  • FREAK-A-CHRISTMAS (Team #318) – $130.00
  • Seeds from the Poisoned Apple (Team #187) – $200.00
  • The Mess B-Team (Team #132) – $277.00
  • Happy Endings (Team #149) – $305.00
  • The Sandy Claws Kidnappers (Team #301)- $330.00
  • The Hard Day’s Knights (Team #335) – $390.00
  • Toddlers & Tiaras (Team #366) – $390.00
  • Wigs Jacked for Jesus (Team #136) – $400.69 + $60 = $469.69
  • 3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 6th ed. (Team #309) – $520.00
  • The Rockford Peaches (Team #159)- $550.00
  • CHIditarod Coreganizers – $578.00
  • S’moregasm (Team #377) – $666.00
  • Firewater Lounge – 713.80
  • The Glitter Girls (Team #343) – $300.00 + $2,263.06 = $2,563.06
  • Action-Squad (Team #307) – $5,155.01
  • The Derailers (Team #302) – $6,126.29 + $55.00 = $6,181.29
  • Phyllis’ Musical Inn – $200.00
  • Cobra Lounge – $375.00
  • Mahoney’s – $400.00
  • Five Star Bar – $500.00
  • Fifty 50 – $580.00
  • Roots Handmade Pizza – $766.50

Prize, Food, Equipment & Service Donations

And while It’s hard to say enough about all the crazy-amazing-beautiful-inspiring-people that make CHIditarod possible, we continue to cherish our checkpoints through the years (new and old alike) who treat us and YOU right, we are thankful to have such great businesses in our community that love a good time.  Go support them as they support us!


Please recall that while your best bet to find lost articles is to contact bars directly, we may still have some insight to Lost/Found items; and we are still collating information for the Wall of Shame, so that we can get your deposits back to their deserving homes along with the carts that were taken (if you are one of the few still waiting, please email your cart return photo to cartvixen@chiditarod.org ASAP).

Chiditarodders big and small, veteran and noob, racer and volunteer: THANK YOU.  Bask in the glory of a job well done, congratulate yourselves for serving Chicago’s hungry, and keep your creative fires lubricated.  Chiditarod VIII approaches.  Mush.

** Correction: Information supplied to us in 2012 to convert cash donations to GCFD from one of our teams (Area 3 Allstars) into food poundage is not consistent with how GCFD currently reports food donations in 2013. The conversion rate provided in 2012 was $1 = 2.33 lbs of food; the rate provided in 2013 is $1 = 1.8 lbs of food. Therefore the totals in 2012 of 27,378 lbs of food have been updated to more accurately reflect 12,164 lbs of physical food poundage collected on race day and $5,285.09 of funds contributed by Chiditarod team Area 3 All-Stars (equating to 9,513 lbs of food) for a new grand total race day contribution of 21,677 lbs. Monetary donations to the Cottage Grove Heights Community Garden remain unchanged. We regret any confusion, and we are deeply grateful to all of our donors and participants. We strive for the utmost transparency with all calculations. We will be reporting 2013’s totals using GCFD’s stated method, which is expressed as “meals served”.

CHIditarod 2012 Results – By the Numbers

2012 Finish Times

Based on us getting your time card at Bottom Lounge.  Our ChiScore automated timekeeping system returned with some new improvements, as well as a few newly-uncovered bugs.  We’ll be dialing it in even further for 2013.  If there’s something that seems amiss, or you notice we don’t have all your information, contact us.

DNF = Did Not Finish, i.e. finish time was not recorded in ChiScore timing software.
Race Start: 12:37:45 PM

Team Name Team Number Finish Total Place per ChiScore Place per Timecards
Area III All-Stars 2
*Due to heinous [10+ min] amounts of time off/bribery not awarded first place.
316 02:57:46 PM 140:00:00 2 1
Area III All-Stars 1 314 02:57:18 PM 139:32:00 1 2
Jackie Treehorn and His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 317 03:05:12 PM 147:26:00 3 3
Team Aero 367 03:06:15 PM 148:29:00 4 4
Gybe Ho’s featuring Ronnie Milsap 336 03:12:24 PM 154:38:00 5 5
Tough Mushers 359 03:12:53 PM 155:07:00 6 6
Forrest Cart 390 03:16:26 PM 158:40:00 7 7
Men in tights 332 03:17:52 PM DNF 8
Cityview Presbyterian Church 170 03:18:22 PM 160:37:00 8 9
poopchunk millionaires 380 03:22:49 PM 165:03:00 9 10
1%ers 342 03:23:38 PM 165:52:00 10 11
The Bluth Company 188 03:24:33 PM 166:47:00 11 12
Friends of McDonaldsland 386 03:25:12 PM 167:25:00 12 13
Every Breath You Take (after friends of mcdonaldsland) 382 03:38:30 PM 180:44:00 22 14
WCR F YES! 178 03:29:24 PM 171:38:00 13 15
Street Sharks 176 03:30:52 PM 173:06:00 14 16
Wieners 341 03:32:18 PM 174:32:00 15 17
The Hard Day’s Knights 335 03:33:34 PM 175:48:00 16 18
Swamp People 151 03:34:10 PM 176:24:00 17 19
The Savoy Big Five 144 03:35:02 PM 177:17:00 18 20
Miss-Carriage 146 03:36:43 PM 178:58:00 20 21
El-coholics 312 03:36:14 PM 178:28:00 19 22
Chidiots 352 03:37:08 PM 179:22:00 21 23
Hipster pigs in space 141 03:40:18 PM 182:32:00 23 24
Cart Consultants 198 03:42:30 PM 184:44:00 24 25
Shopping Kart 5K Ski Club (after cart consultants, were checked in at #3) 327 03:43:02 PM DNF 26
The Heathers 310 03:44:04 PM 186:18:00 25 27
Happy Endings 149 03:47:58 PM 190:12:00 26 28
Back To the Future (after happy endings) 193 DNF 29
The Sandy Claws Kidnappers 301 30
The Halstedians 333 03:49:04 PM 191:18:00 27 31
Stone Fox 156 03:50:20 PM 192:35:00 28 32
Couch-Dawgs 155 03:52:59 PM 195:13:00 29 33
Heads will roll (after couch dawgs) 374 03:54:13 PM DNF 34
Team Discovery 166 03:55:41 PM 197:55:00 30 35
Miami Homicide 379 03:56:56 PM 199:10:00 31 36
ones who knock (after Miami Homicide) 334 03:57:38 PM DNF 37
Shadynasty 183 03:58:31 PM 200:45:00 32 38
Boozin Away Hunger 160 03:59:39 PM 201:54:00 33 39
BrownSugarMacDaddys 192 03:59:57 PM DNF 40
Chi Fringe Warriors 186 04:00:25 PM 202:39:00 34 41
Last Call 354 04:00:54 PM 203:08:00 35 42
Tachycartia 147 04:01:08 PM 203:22:00 36 43
The Mess B-Team 132 04:02:51 PM 205:05:00 37 44
The Roller Rinkettes 168 04:05:43 PM 207:58:00 38 45
Only in the Mo’nin 135 04:06:16 PM 208:31:00 39 46
Babes in Soyland 173 04:06:33 PM 208:47:00 40 47
Vatos Locos! 165 04:06:55 PM 209:09:00 41 48
Theta Xi 175 04:07:49 PM 210:03:00 42 49
Inter-Galactic Federation of Chiditaranians 182 04:10:26 PM 212:40:00 43 50
everything American and more 353 04:11:39 PM 213:53:00 44 51
Kingdom of Caring 388 04:12:47 PM DNF 52
Seeds of the Poisoned Apple 187 04:13:59 PM DNF 53
Pervy Staches 139 04:14:36 PM DNF 54
The IT Crowd 150 04:15:27 PM 217:42:00 45 55
BLIZZARD WATCH 2012–still waiting. 169 04:15:58 PM DNF 56
Saved by the Balls 387 04:16:19 PM 218:33:00 46 57
Team Awesome 338 04:16:53 PM 219:07:00 47 58
Kill Bill Volume 1 340 04:19:57 PM 222:11:00 49 59
Tarantino 339 04:19:13 PM 221:27:00 48 60
FREAK-A-CHRISTMAS 318 04:20:15 PM 222:29:00 50 61
Rainbow Bright 355 04:27:01 PM DNF 62
The Chubby Weiners 197 04:25:37 PM 227:51:00 51 63
Spit, Semen and Men 351 04:28:32 PM DNF 64
The Rockford Peaches 159 04:30:03 PM DNF 65
Skipper and Her Sisters 167 04:31:34 PM 233:49:00 54 66
Flying Carp are a Menace 362 04:33:54 PM 236:08:00 55 67
Miss Houston, We Have a Problem 308 DNF 68
missing time card [team name?] 69
Future Meme Accountant Cats 137 04:35:55 PM 238:09:00 56 70
Winn(t)ers 172 04:36:39 PM DNF 71
WCR DOMINATION 360 04:37:01 PM 239:15:00 57 72
We want more beer, Trix are for kids 180 04:37:18 PM 239:33:00 58 73
Banana Phone 356 04:37:23 PM 239:37:00 59 74
Preparation HGH 196 04:37:31 PM DNF 75
Are We Having Fun Yet? 371 04:37:37 PM 239:51:00 60 76
Booze Hounds 154 04:38:15 PM 240:30:00 61 77
The Jesuits 350 DNF 78
Shopping Cart of Emotion 375 04:38:43 PM DNF 79
Honey Badger Don’t Give A Shit 195 04:39:00 PM 241:14:00 62 80
woo doo woo doo doo jerry jerry jerry…jerry west slap tab dome sloan obin slob jerry scam 372 04:42:54 PM 245:08:00 63 81
Serenity Now 142 04:43:59 PM 246:14:00 64 82
Extreme Awesomeness 306 83
The Wood Brothers 378 04:45:42 PM DNF 84
Dead Celebrities 174 04:45:48 PM DNF 85
Action-Squad 307 04:45:53 PM 248:07:00 65 86
3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 6th ed. 309 04:45:57 PM 248:11:00 66 87
Champions of Breakfast 319 04:46:02 PM DNF 88
Team Wack Arnolds 145 04:46:31 PM DNF 89
NAIL 328 04:46:52 PM DNF 90
Bad in Plaid 138 04:46:57 PM DNF 91
Atlantic City Roads Committee 300 92
Area III All-Stars 3 315 04:47:05 PM DNF 93
Space Balls 384 04:47:35 PM 249:48:00 67 94
The Derailers 302 95
Abra Cadavers 177 04:47:41 PM 249:56:00 68 96
Up, Up, and Away 134 04:47:45 PM 249:59:00 69 97
SMOREGASM 377 04:47:48 PM DNF 98
Most Awkward Situation at a Party 162 04:47:51 PM 250:06:00 70 99
HMS Paula Deen 373 04:47:55 PM 250:08:00 71 100
Are You Serious Clark? 344 04:48:30 PM DNF 101
P.L.U.R. 363 04:51:07 PM 253:21:00 72 102
Dudestorm 313 DNF 103
Glitter Girls 343 04:51:55 PM 254:09:00 73 104
Shopping Kart 5K Ski Club – 2 346 04:52:48 PM DNF 105
The CHAMBions 189 04:53:09 PM DNF 106
It’s always sunny in the Chi 152 04:53:36 PM DNF 107
Here We Go 348 04:53:16 PM DNF 108
Sofa-King Awesome! 349 04:55:02 PM DNF 109
Polymeracers 337 04:57:54 PM DNF 110
Shark Week 2 370 04:58:31 PM 260:45:00 74 111
CJ Ownz 320 04:58:48 PM DNF 112
Shark Week 1 345 04:59:46 PM DNF 113
Rice Krispy Treats 143 05:00:23 PM 262:38:00 75 114
Newsies 157 05:03:39 PM DNF 115
Wigs Jacked For Jesus 136 05:12:43 PM 274:58:00 76 116
Team Drew 376 DNF 117
The Team formerly known as the Majestic Unicorns 324 05:21:06 PM DNF 118
SAMCRO 365 05:21:11 PM DNF 119
Ol’ Ladies 364 05:21:17 PM DNF 120
OccupySesameSt 331 DNF 121
SnOOki MuShMUsH 153 DNF 122
Team Honorable Mention 303 123
The Ancient Mystic Fraternal Society of Bros Dedicated to the Furtherance and Advancement of Bro-Related Activities and Mineral Exploration (Not Restricted to Non-Ferrous Minerals and/or Magnets): America Chapter 389 DNF 124
The Claw 368 04:25:58 PM 228:12:00 52 125
Ballsmodels 148 04:51:50 PM DNF No Time Card
Beaded Broads 163 DNF No Time Card
BOZO’s Circus 311 DNF No Time Card
Dances With Bulls 325 DNF No Time Card
Don’t Care Bears 140 DNF No Time Card
Evil 322 DNF No Time Card
Gentleman (g)’s Photography Studio (and Definitely Not a Speakeasy) 304 No Time Card
Get a Clue 347 DNF No Time Card
Global Guts 321 DNF No Time Card
Good 323 DNF No Time Card
heartless bastards 199 DNF No Time Card
Hobo-Q IV 305 No Time Card
Jeff Totsch: This is Your Life 330 DNF No Time Card
MARIOZSK 194 04:29:20 PM 231:35:00 53 No Time Card
Monkey Businass 381 DNF No Time Card
Sheriff’s Department! 179 DNF No Time Card
Sleaze Patrol 383 DNF No Time Card
Sparkle Dust 326 DNF No Time Card
Team Ohre 358 DNF No Time Card
Team Sky 357 DNF No Time Card
The Breakfast Club Wannabes 191 DNF No Time Card
The Bums Will Always Lose 329 DNF No Time Card
The WPO 171 DNF No Time Card
Toddlers & Tiaras 366 DNF No Time Card
Vermicious Knid 385 DNF No Time Card
Wild Card 181 DNF No Time Card
Coles Merken 190 DNF No Time Card
Drago/TTM/DBC 133 DNF No Time Card
George 185 DNF No Time Card
May It Please the Hamster 131 DNF No Time Card
Not A Clue 361 DNF No Time Card
Team 1 161 DNF No Time Card
Team Whitney 369 DNF No Time Card
The Clownarounds 164 DNF No Time Card
Tony’s Angels 158 DNF No Time Card

Food Drive Poundage

Tallys from our race-day food drive.  Some teams did not bring any food!  Of these 6 teams, 3 were returning from prior years.  What gives?

Total: 11,791 pounds collected.

Team # Team Name Poundage
305 Hobo-Q IV Served up food all day long!
155 Couch-Dawgs 260
154 Booze Hounds 248
149 Happy Endings 246
303 Team Honorable Mention 224
136 Wigs Jacked For Jesus 194
159 The Rockford Peaches 160
170 Cityview Presbyterian Church 150
183 Shadynasty 145
352 Chidiots 140
337 Polymeracers 135
340 Kill Bill Volume 1 129
173 Babes in Soyland 128
350 The Jesuits 128
144 The Savoy Big Five 127
358 Team Ohre 119
176 Street Sharks 114
199 heartless bastards 114
306 Extreme Awesomeness 113
319 Champions of Breakfast 112
148 Ballsmodels 111
168 The Roller Rinkettes 111
335 The Hard Day’s Knights 111
180 We want more beer; Trix are for kids 109
308 Miss Houston, We Have a Problem 107
182 Inter-Galactic Federation of Chiditaranians 102
188 The Bluth Company 99
366 Toddlers & Tiaras 97
198 Cart Consultants 95
177 Abra Cadavers 94
157 Newsies 93
174 Dead Celebrities 92
186 Chi Fringe Warriors 92
167 Skipper and Her Sisters 91
312 El-coholics 90
371 Are We Having Fun Yet? 90
372 woo doo woo doo doo jerry jerry jerry…jerry west slap tab dome sloan obin slob jerry scam 90
381 Monkey Businass 89
151 Swamp People 88
309 3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 6th ed. 88
322 Evil 88
336 Gybe Ho’s featuring Ronnie Milsap 88
385 Vermicious Knid 86
137 Future Meme Accountant Cats 85
181 Wild Card 85
343 Glitter Girls 85
169 BLIZZARD WATCH 2012–still waiting. 84
355 Rainbow Bright 84
356 Banana Phone 84
139 Pervy Staches 82
321 Global Guts 82
342 1%ers 82
329 The Bums Will Always Lose 81
171 The WPO 80
163 Beaded Broads 79
311 BOZO’s Circus 79
390 Forrest Cart 79
302 The Derailers 78
310 The Heathers 78
365 SAMCRO 77
156 Stone Fox 76
374 Heads will roll 76
191 The Breakfast Club Wannabes 75
307 Action-Squad 75
142 Serenity Now 73
196 Preparation HGH 73
143 Rice Krispy Treats 72
153 SnOOki MuShMUsH 71
172 Winn(t)ers 71
193 Back To the Future 71
364 Ol’ Ladies 71
367 Team Aero 71
388 Kingdom of Caring 71
178 WCR F YES! 70
138 Bad in Plaid 70
189 The CHAMBions 70
351 Spit, Semen and Men 70
383 Sleaze Patrol 69.5
166 Team Discovery 69
190 Coles Merken 68
354 Last Call 68
359 Tough Mushers 68
363 P.L.U.R. 67
368 The Claw 67
379 Miami Homicide 67
300 Atlantic City Roads Committee 66
145 Team Wack Arnolds 65
146 Miss-Carriage 65
187 Seeds of the Poisoned Apple 64
333 The Halstedians 63
338 Team Awesome 63
373 HMS Paula Deen 63
160 Boozin Away Hunger 62
362 Flying Carp are a Menace 62
147 Tachycartia 61.5
152 It’s always sunny in the Chi 61
192 BrownSugarMacDaddys 61
324 The Team formerly known as the Majestic Unicorns 61
330 Jeff Totsch: This is Your Life 61
348 Here We Go 61
375 Shopping Cart of Emotion 61
165 Vatos Locos! 60
353 everything American and more 60
376 Team Drew 60
162 Most Awkward Situation at a Party 59
134 Up, Up, and Away 58
135 Only in the Mo’nin 58
140 Don’t Care Bears 58
304 Gentleman (g)’s Photography Studio (and Definitely Not a Speakeasy) 58
323 Good 58
341 Wieners 58
345 Shark Week 1 58
387 Saved by the Balls 58
320 CJ Ownz 57
326 Sparkle Dust 57
349 Sofa-King Awesome! 57
380 poopchunk millionaires 57
150 The IT Crowd 56
344 Are You Serious Clark? 55
370 Shark Week 2 55
317 Jackie Treehorn and His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 54
132 The Mess B-Team 53
175 Theta Xi 53
301 The Sandy Claws Kidnappers 53
313 Dudestorm 53
389 The Ancient Mystic Fraternal Society of Bros Dedicated to the Furtherance and Advancement of Bro-Related Activities and Mineral Exploration (Not Restricted to Non-Ferrous Minerals and/or Magnets): America Chapter 53
141 Hipster pigs in space 52
197 The Chubby Weiners 52
315 Area III All-Stars 3 51
328 NAIL 51
314 Area III All-Stars 1 50
316 Area III All-Stars 2 50
325 Dances With Bulls 50
332 Men in tights 50
339 Tarantino 50
378 The Wood Brothers 50
382 Every Breath You Take 50
384 Space Balls 50
386 Friends of McDonaldsland 50
331 OccupySesameSt 47
327 Shopping Kart 5K Ski Club 41
357 Team Sky 7
179 Sheriff’s Department! NO FOOD. BOOOO
195 Honey Badger Don’t Give A Shit NO FOOD. BOOOO
334 ones who knock NO FOOD. BOOOO
346 Shopping Kart 5K Ski Club – 2 NO FOOD. BOOOO
347 Get a Clue NO FOOD. BOOOO

2011 Sabotage Report


Sabotage is a long standing tradition of the CHIditarod. In fact, without it, we’d be just another lame ol’ boring pub crawl. …not really, that was just for the sake of dramatization, but we certainly would be missing an element that keeps the race… interesting.

Each year, CHIditarod happily gains popularity and welcomes newcomers. A result of this growth is that more unsuspecting folks become potential ‘easy targets’ for saboteurs. Due to a couple of recent complaints and numerous discussions with pups of sabotage inflicted teams, we began questioning “is racing experience, or lack of, a factor?” Wanting to capture a better picture of the CHIditarod experience and hoping to learn how to make things more EPIC, we emailed a post-race survey to members of the CHIditarod VI teams. The following report was generated from those survey responses, focusing on: 1) the responders’ years of participation in the CHIditarod, and 2) the relationship between a racer’s level of experience and the likelihood that they dished out or received sabotage.

It has charts and stuff.

Behold: The 2011 CHIditarod Sabotage Report.



We are able to draw two general conclusions from this analysis.

Conclusion 1: Newbies Beware! Every year, there are a handful of first-time racers who leave the race completely bummed out because of some sabotage that occurred that they felt was mean-spirited or highly un-sportsman-like. As organizers, our suspicions are that these disappointments are largely rooted in the fact that many first-time racers don’t know what to expect on race day. Sabotage requires that people be clever and creative, and these are traits that we try to encourage in all aspects of the race. The best way you can help you and your teammates avoid such disappointment on race day is to educate yourselves about what to expect, come to the race day prepared for sabotage, and try to roll with the punches, if they happen to come—and there is about a 56% chance that they will.

If you are running the CHIditarod for the first time, prepare yourself. Read the CHIditarod Handbook. Bring your box of tools to the race. Many teams bring box cutters and bolt cutters to the race with them in order to free up their cart if it has been compromised. Be aware that check-points are havens for opportunistic sabotage. NEVER LEAVE YOUR CART UNATTENDED. Your shopping cart is a rambunctious youth that needs tough-love parenting skills. Keep it on a short leash. Otherwise, who knows what trouble it could get into.

Conclusion 2: We have created a monster! (Raawwr! Monster…rawwr!) It seems clear from these survey results—most particularly from the number of first-time racers that participate in dishing out sabotage—that the culture of sabotage at the CHIditarod has developed a life of its own. It is firmly rooted in the greater CHIditarod-involved population of Chicago, not just the core organizers. In other words, we, as organizers, are no longer steering the culture of sabotage; rather, we are always racing (ha!) to keep up with it as it plows ahead of us and changes over time. We do all that we can to ensure fair game play. We do all that we can to ensure that no one gets hurt physically or emotionally. Respect for our entire community and all of its members is the primary motivator behind the Chiditarod. But we can’t control everything. We can’t control everybody. Despite our best efforts, we can’t ensure that everyone at the race has the same idea about fair game play, or that everyone at the race has the same idea of what respect looks like. The Chiditarod is an ever-changing, ever-evolving event. Its success relies on our ability to get along with each other and to make room for disagreement to exist and be resolved. Let’s face it. We’re a huge group of diverse people. There will sometimes be disagreements.

But always keep in mind:

  • We do this for our fellow Chicagoans who suffer from food insecurity.
  • We do this together because we are stronger together, as a community, than we are as individuals.
  • We do this for each other and with each other because we are all equally rad.
  • It’s all in good fun!


  • Buck up, campers, and keep being excellent to each other. Mush!

2011 Wall of Shame


Uggg, what a mess. Such a mess, in fact, that it took us a month to compile this year’s wall of shame, and we’ll be raising the cart deposit cost for 2012. Cart-abandoning teams, we declare shenanigans upon you! And in so doing, you now have a place on the 2011 CHIditarod Wall of Shame.


#64 – The Deloreans

2010’s Goonies returned in 2011 as The Deloreans. They rocked in every way possible, except one… They held a Save the Clocktower campaign (raising funds for charity), bribed with custom-printed Calvin Kleins, and gave an artsy Showcase performance. However, we found their cart, broken into large chunks, littered throughout the finish line grounds. The destruction was catestrophic and total. They called a while later to explain – quite a story. Fantastic, upsetting, and graphic. Tragically, the Flux Capacitor was never recovered.


Deloreans, circa CHIditarod VI.


Deloreans, circa 1985.


#99 – Dead Presidents

The dead presidents were hoping to leave their mark in history. Instead, henceforth, their actions shall echo in infamy into eternity. The economy is in shambles. Our foreign policy is irresponsible. Education is one of the worst when compared against other developed nations. Our health care is grossly unjust. Unemployment is soaring. All thanks to their doing. Need we say more? Yes, yes we do.

After participating in CHIditarod VI, seemingly for a good cause the dead presidents seemed to be vying for the chance to redeem themselves. We the people gave them the chance to correct the errors of their ways. Instead they came and spilled their guts, and by guts we mean left us to clean up their mess up once again. The truth is they swayed us with false pretenses of things that could be. They raised our hopes for a brighter future for our children. All they left us with was broken hearts, the american nightmare and an abandoned shopping cart. Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on me.

Nevermore will we vote for the wrong guy… nevermore.





#102 – Accidental Inception: The Quest for Contraception





#107 – Peace Be Da Journey

White people appropriating black culture, very poorly: At least if you’re gonna do this guys, take some real lessons and figure out what to do with a cart.






#168 – Goldman Sacks

Embodying evil on a small scale, this team doesn’t seem to have the financial resources to cause a recession. They DO, however, have it in their power to enact evil on a small level by neglecting to clean up their own mess. Bravo, team. The real life financial mess is way too complicated to understand, and so these genius situationist artists, in demonstrating their commitment to caring about community and personal accountability, they’ve given us a great way to understand the larger picture. Well done. We get it. You’ve screwed us over and you don’t care.






#185 – The Thundergnomes

Oh Thundergnomes. Some gnomes really add to a garden, adding a bit of kitsch and little fun filled whimsy. Yet sometimes, they’re just tacky. Speaking of tacky, let’s talk about your cart. There are so many things wrong with seeing it thrown in a garbage bin. Carts don’t belong in the garbage; they’re not Gnomeo and Juliet DVD’s. And I know the pointed hats give an air of class, but drinking Busch and not recycling the box that trash is wrapped in is not the earth conscious way of the Gnome people. Those hats need to be earned with a green thumb, not by thumbing your nose at the rules of a charity event.

Gnomes used to be synonymous with good times and good gardens, but what are you doing to your own society? You do, however, make a solid argument for plastic pink flamingos.






#188 – Alpha Beta

Alpha Beta brings true dedication to a theme. Coming to the race dressed as douchebags, they committed heavily to their aesthetic even after the race by ditching their carts. What an incredible display of douchebaggery!



2011 Photos and Video


  • http://vocalo.org/blogs/archive/201103/chi-ditarod
  • http://columbiachronicle.com/sweepmarket-carts-sweep-city/
  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/07/chiditarod-2011-shopping-_n_832400.html#s249962
  • http://www.nbcchicago.com/the-scene/events/Chiditarod-117462513.html
  • http://chicagoist.com/2011/03/07/in_pictures_chiditarod_2011.php
  • http://saradevil.blogspot.com/2011/03/chiditarod-afternoon.htm
  • http://gapersblock.com/merge/archives/2011/03/07/chiditarod-in-pictures/
  • http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/thats-awesome/2011/03/chiditarod-2011-takes-over-chicago.html


  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RiJpbqOI54
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkyOTcLudgk
  • http://vimeo.com/20727559
  • https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1903947398336
  • https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1902241715695
  • https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150108336943528&oid=18917462008&comments
  • https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150152480696418&oid=123280991066903&comments
  • https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150149352219002&oid=123280991066903&comments
  • https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=208844489128206&oid=123280991066903&comments
  • http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chiditarod+2011&aq=f


  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/leetlegreenman/sets/72157626224964973/
  • http://www.refinery29.com/slideshow-chiditarod-shopping-cart-race-2011
  • http://tinyurl.com/4hxbavb
  • http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=chiditarod2011&w=all
  • http://www.facebook.com/album.php?fbid=1869115410690&id=1325245485&aid=109237

2011 Results

Chiditarod VI

CHIditarod VI exceeded all expectations! On March 5, 2011; 146 teams and close to 200 volunteers participated in yet another epically large and successful CHIditarod!

This year the Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation benefited from both Food donations equating to “breaking news flash” 19Klbs/8.6 metric tons! AND Monetary donations just tipping over $18.5K. This is 7x the amount of direct money donations from the previous year!! And again Area 3 Allstars came through with over 3 tons of food, plus a cheese plate to make it fancy! But seriously, we couldn’t pull this thing off without the generous support of many a volunteer, racer and these fine upstanding organizations & people that donated time, resources, and materials to help bring about pretty much the best day of the year! We THANK YOU for making CHIditarod feel better than any holiday/birthday morning in recollection!

Here’s are drum-core call out of all the fine folks that donated cold-hard-cash to the cause – our complete list of monetary donations made to CAHF. Including all teams that raised funds via the GiveForward website (making it simple, easy and fun to jump on the bandwagon to help your team pull ahead in the race and offered up great viewing of the tenacious & awesome battle towards glory for our top fundraisers – bringing in $4000+ and $5000+ respectively), plus teams who either were not present to collect prize monies or graciously donated their award straight back to CAHF, plus close to all our checkpoints kicking back a portion of the days profits!

Monetary Donations from Teams & Checkpoints:

  • Hipsters – $5.00
  • Candyland Crew – $25.00
  • Team Awesome (aka PacMan) – $45.00
  • Brutals – $50.00
  • RMS Tit – $50.00
  • Team Axis of Evil – $50.00
  • Queequeg’s Ambergris – $50.00
  • O-ren Ishii & the Crazy 88’s – 51.00
  • America’s Largest Water Park – $75.00
  • The Deloreans – $90.86
  • S.O.D. – $100.00
  • Lochness Mobster – $100.00
  • Club Lucky – $100.00
  • Will Act For Food – $115.00
  • Nick’s Beer Garden – $130.00
  • Darkroom – $136.00
  • Five Star Bar – $150.00
  • Go Go Gadget – $155.00
  • French Toast Mafia – $160.00
  • CHIditarod Coreganizers – $165.00
  • Cobra Lounge – $170.00
  • The Flat Iron – $175.00
  • Team Who – The Doctors Who Save Chicago – $190.00
  • Phyllis’ Musical Inn (donating to The Greater Chicago Food Depository – $200.00)
  • Kermit and Friends & Muppets take Chicago – $200.00
  • Hobo-Q3: God of Hellfire – $215.00
  • AREA 3 ALL STARS – $250.00
  • Goldman Sacks – $250.00
  • Twisted Spoke – $250.00
  • Innertown Pub – $260.00
  • Accidental Inception: The Quest for Contraception – $395.00
  • How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb/TEAM DR. STRANGELOVE – $550.00
  • The Wedding Crashers – $1,260.00
  • Bottom Lounge (2010 & 2011 donation) – $1500.00
  • TheBeagleBoys – $1,801.00
  • Action-Squad – $4,208.00
  • The Derailers – $5,024.00

Chiditarod is and always will be a charitable and sponsor-free event. Various organizations throughout Chicago and the local region donated time, expertise, goods and goodwill to this year’s Chiditarod and our chosen charity – The Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation. We’d like to publically thank the following non-exhaustive list of folks and organizations.

Food/Clothing/Other Donations:

And while It’s hard to say enough about all the crazy-amazing-beautiful-inspiring-people that make CHIditarod possible, we continue to cherish our checkpoints through the years (new and old alike) who treat us and YOU right, we are thankful to have such great businesses in our community that love a good time! Go support them as they support us!


Please recall our full list of 2011 Prize & Time Results is still top of minds; our Surveys continue to be best way to get your feedback & experiences applied to future years of planning, that while your best bet to find lost articles is to contact bars directly, we may still have some insight to Lost/Found items; and we are still collating information for the Wall of Shame, so that we can get your deposits back to their deserving homes along with the carts that were taken (if you are one of the few still waiting, please email your cart return photo to cartvixen@chiditarod.org ASAP).


Our 2011 Gallery is now up. Please email us links to your photos, videos, and awesome stories and we’ll post them in your honor.


Two other areas of note:

I. We DO have 2011 Merchandise available if you happened to miss out. Due to the uniqueness of each item, we’ll ask for some identifying details to help us match you with your new apparel. Your request must include 1. gender, 2. size, 3. color/design/style (aka black/wings/hat or pink/graffiti cart/tank or even red/logo/longsleeve). Go to the ChiRod Store to make your purchase.

II. We revamp and add to our Sabotage rules each year, based on a few bad apples out there that a) don’t know what creative vs destructive means, b) don’t pay attention to the rules to begin with, or c) would like to race and be merry without having to always be on the defensive we WILL be taking measures to ensure a fun/safe/creative race for EVERYONE next year. Be Forewarned, we are watching!


2011 Prize & Time Results

2011 Official Prize & Time Results

OMG, It’s within the week and we’ve got Prizes & Finish Times up! Our Awards Ceremony was once again kicked off by Environmental Encroachment and hosted at the Bottom Lounge. You all truly outdid yourselves this year by coming out 146 teams strong to race in snowy and windy weather. We’ll be listing our final tally of both funds raised and food driven to Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation within the week (along with our multitude of thank you’s), but for now, please know that you ALL are deserving of prizes, praise and awe for all the creativity and gusto you bring to the CHIditarod!

Team # Team Name Prize Category
92 The Derailers (over $5000 raised) Most Epic Fundraiser
80 Candyland Crew (Tweeted throughout the race… fun, interesting, colorful tweets especially when they spelled out C-H-I-D-I-T-A-R-O-D over the course of a few tweets) Chitwitterod
92 The Derailers (Steam Engine Train, wheels that moved, train whistle and dressed in period costume) Best art cART
82 Action-Squad (Stagecoach with top seat, monsterously huge – in the racer category and could fit through the entrance door – in period costume!) Industrial Design
199 Hipsters (winners of the die roll among last 10 teams) DFL
62 Area 3 All Stars #2 (2:58:00 Finish Time) 3rd Place Time
84 Teen Team Wolf! (2:54:00 Finish Time) 2nd Place Time
53 Area 3 All Stars #1 aka The Lady Gaga’s (2:49:00 Finish Time) 1st Place Time
129 Bridesmaidzillas! (200lbs of food) — special mention goes to the Hipsters who were not present, but by all accounts had closer to 250lbs of food 2nd Best in Food
53, 52, 70 Area 3 Allstars #1, #2, #3 (over 9,000lbs of food) Best in Food
139 The Loch Ness Mobsters (impressive paper máché Loch Ness Monster that ate garbage and pooped whiskey) Bike Marshal’s Choice
107 Peace Be Da Journey (feathers for tarring and feathering are not LEAVE NO TRACE) Most Honorable Dishonorable Mention
82 Action-Squad 3rd Best in Show
98, 122 RMS Tit & anic (the humongous ships’ two halfs and teams dressed in period costume) 2nd Best in Show
110, 66 Kermit and Friends & Muppets take Chicago (home-made muppet head awesomeness!) Best in Show
115 Gybe Ho’s (muffins, feeding their way into the judges hearts) Best Bribe
53 Area 3 All Starts #1 aka The Lady Gaga’s (handed out “skip this checkpoint” certificates, stumping even some judges with the official CHIditarod patch logo) Best Sabotage
92 The Derailers (presented by Action-Squad for helping the Action-“damsels”-Squad in distress out when their cart broke down)…wasn’t meant to replace, but award given instead of Spirit of CHIditarod Action Squad Dynasty Award of Epic Awesomeness
98 RMS Tit (for correctly answering trivia to spell CARTPARTY! and writing a riveting tale about Frederick Cart) Chi-Trivia
103 Team Axis of Evil (received extra bonus points for presentation with an assist from Soup R Crackers – Crazy world Helluva lot of evil Incarceration unfairly, Dirty bombs Infidals Attack Tyrannasaurus rex And nuclear weapons Rebuttal to that On this day Day of chiditarod!) Acrostic
60 SwingVote (due to copywrite infringement and national safety this is not available, ok it was probably lost otherwise, but ya know) Lim-rod
68 Team Z (“Majestic Unicorns are fucking Awesome!” and if you look on the internetz you’ll find the picture to go with it) Pictogram
140 Brutals Puzzle
163 Queequeg’s Ambergris (purple rain/prince move that has apparently won this man many a prize, including a wife!) Best Dance Move
178 Just The Tip Best in Vulva
177 Rainbow Bright (babes doing synchronized dance moves) – and rumor has it that the Deloreans were robbed of the chance to compete here – something about tear away pants! Short Cart Showdow
Breen Clan – for being amazingly resourceful and resiliant and feedin’ the needin’ in a massive way. Rawkin Support Award
Clem – Phyllis’s for being the one checkpoint to be with us every year of the CHIditarod and leading the way in making donations of profits from the day towards Charity Rawkin Support Award
Minimonk – for hosting the starting line year after year Rawkin Support Award
TLP – for being an outstanding mentor and without whom the CHIditarod would not be what it is today Rawkin Support Award
Action-Squad – for racing with us each year, leading the way in Spirit of non-sabotage but having fun and helping others enjoy the CHIditarod and having outstanding costume/themes each year! Rawkin Support Award
Caroline Jourdes (wings logo), Carl Brahms (graffiti cart) Design Contest Winners



2011 Finish Times – based on us getting your time card at Bottom Lounge. And we are totally remiss in the gigantic advances in automated timekeeping from this year, special thanks to Paul Pagel for getting us headed the right direction for open-source Chidita-timekeeping!

Team # Team Name Finish Time Route #
53 Area 3 All Stars #1 14:48:47 8
84 Teen Team Wolf! 14:54:15 5
62 Area 3 All Stars #2 14:58:50 7
115 Gybe Ho’s 15:04:28 2
113 Lowered Expectations 15:04:54 2
67 Jackie Treehorn & His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 15:05:13 6
75 The Mr. T Party 15:09:23 6
117 Come On Down 15:12:52 2
47 Danger Zone 15:13:01 8
153 The Patriotic Rednecks 15:13:26 7
134 Homogeneous Homoless 15:14:45 8
70 Area 3 All Stars #3 15:14:58 6
89 Ghost Busters 15:15:44 4
152 Jurrassic Cart 15:16:53 6
163 Queequeg’s Ambergris 15:17:42 5
166 Angry Birds 15:18:56 4
191 Legends of the Ring 15:21:53 5
114 Flying Carp 15:24:18 2
168 Goldman Sacks 15:24:47 6
200 Kill it in the Butt 15:27:21 6
171 Cock, Tail and Wieners 15:28:24 1
170 Or Are you Just Happy to See ME? 15:29:37 8
178 Just The Tip 15:30:36 8
59 Pinot & Friends 15:37:10 7
96 Salesmanipulationship. 15:37:41 3
56 Biggest Boozers 15:38:56 7
140 Brutals 15:41:15 3
71 Third time’s a charm 15:41:57 6
160 ¡MUCHA LUCHA! 15:42:34 6
52 Cereal Killers 15:43:48 3
54 Team Bullrun 15:44:20 8
65 Pequod 15:44:51 6
179 Teenage Mutant Ninja Lesbos 15:45:02 3
184 Oh Gnome You Din’t! 15:45:38 6
68 Team Z 15:45:47 3
190 5 Wise Men 15:46:42 3
48 Penguin Dragons 15:47:16 8
169 Hottie Dogs 15:48:39 7
137 Windy City Rollers 15:49:33 4
112 Black Swan B-Team 15:50:28 2
130 Bananas 15:51:20 5
124 Born Blitzed 15:52:53 6
125 Ghost Dog 15:58:14 7
131 Team Who 15:58:30 5
180 Party Down 15:58:54 8
58 Blue Barracudas 16:03:27 7
107 Peace Be Da Journey 16:03:54 8
73 Team Nicholas Gajewski 16:06:14 6
186 Team Fabulous 16:09:33 8
196 Team RamJam 16:11:38 4
165 Feliz Na’vi-dad 16:14:21 4
49 Team Awesome 16:17:06 8
97 La Fuente de Oro Mexicana 16:18:03 1
182 Blood Sweat and Beers 16:18:20 3
147 Schnitzengigells 16:18:46 1
119 The Rapids 16:19:41 1
90 Up Dawgs *cART* 16:21:07 3
120 We’ll make it to the show 16:22:17 1
135 Estrogen Heavy 16:22:36 2
99 DEAD PRESIDENTS 16:24:11 4
167 Sleaze Patrol 16:25:15 5
123 The Chiefs 16:26:31 5
187 The French Toast Mafia 16:26:42 1
126 Haulin’ Oats 16:26:57 8
91 Hells Bananas *cART* 16:28:18 3
77 The Wedding Crashers 16:28:57 6
74 Go Go Gadget-arod 16:29:46 6
104 Team America (Fuck Yeah!) 16:33:13 2
146 Better late than pregnant 16:34:58 3
159 S.O.D. 16:35:41 5
92 The Derailers *cART* 16:36:35 5
51 Dead Last 16:37:58 8
105 Fire and Nice 16:38:13 3
172 Running of The Bulls 16:38:33 3
64 The Deloreans 16:38:50 6
121 The Death Mobile *cART* 16:38:56 3
144 Soup R’ Crackers *cART* 16:39:08 2
103 Team Axis of Evil 16:40:27 5
158 The Five Amigos 16:41:05 6
143 Farmers from Illinois – Oregon Trail Style *cART* 16:41:37 3
175 Schoolin’ & Foolin’ 16:41:58 3
83 Chicks with Dicks 16:42:33 5
129 Bridesmaidzillas! 16:45:24 4
139 The Loch Ness Mobsters 16:46:28 5
108 Physical Challenge Please 16:46:56 2
101 Breakfast Club 16:47:44 3
78 How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb 16:48:03 6
118 DUI’s 16:48:41 2
76 De-evolution! 16:50:22 6
151 Large Marge and the Mother Truckers 16:50:45 3
128 Angry Birds 16:51:29 3
177 Rainbow Bright 16:51:55 7
110 Kermit and Friends 16:52:45 4
149 Chick-fil-A 3 16:54:18 4
55 The Bill Murrays 16:54:31 8
72 Majestic Unicorns 16:54:40 6
136 High 5 Functions 16:56:10 5
82 Action-Squad 16:56:15 5
63 Spice Girls 16:56:21 6
57 Polymeracers 16:58:51 7
185 The Thundergnomes 16:59:26 3
61 angry dragon 16:59:32 8
132 Frozen Aqua Foot Lube 16:59:40 6
116 Sarah Palin’s Chicago 17:00:01 3
183 Pac that Ass Up 17:01:37 5
142 Will Act For Food *cART* 17:01:41 1
98 RMS Tit *cART* 17:02:13 3
122 anic *cART* 17:02:16 3
141 Black Swan 17:02:24 2
102 Accidental Inception: The Quest for Contraception 17:03:02 5
69 Dudestorm 17:03:17 6
81 Pure Motherfuckin’ Magic 17:05:49 3
148 Chick-fil-A 1 17:06:18 4
111 Mountain Attack Kill 17:07:24 2
80 Candyland Crew 17:07:59 5
87 Old Norse 17:11:58 3
109 COWABUNGA, DUDE! 17:13:53 2
106 SCAMP 17:14:13 3
150 Chick-fil-A 2 17:17:10 4
50 Man in a Canoe 17:24:00 3
154 Wilocity 17:24:00 8
199 Hipsters DFL Contenders 5
198 Laidback Olympians DFL Contenders 7
133 o-ren ishii & the crazy 88’s DFL Contenders 7
164 Schnitzengiggle DFL Contenders 4
60 SwingVote DFL Contenders 7
176 Wrolf Olsons DFL Contenders 3
188 Alpha Beta 4
192 America’s Largest Water Park 3
79 Ankle Socks 3
95 Football Head and Friends 2
93 Hobo-Q 3: God of Hellfire *cART* 6
145 Hobo-Q 3: What about Bob? *cART* 4
162 Lambda Lambda Lambda 8
173 Milk is for babies, when you get older you drink beer 7
66 Muppets take Chicago 3
86 PRAG 5
174 Runs With Scissors 8
193 Smurfs 3
88 Team Bunny 4
97 Team Charlie Sheen 3
181 Team friendship 6
94 This Is How We Do It 8
155 Waffles 1
156 Wasj U 1
198 Whiskey 6


Chiditarod 2010 Results

EPIC start of CHIditarod 2010.  Photo by http://flickr.com/photos/friendlyjoe/

CHIditarod V

120 teams.

150 volunteers.

50 degrees & sunny.

One EPIC start to rule them all.

14,525 pounds of food collected.

CHIditarod V ran into historic glory on March 6, 2010.  120 teams and over 150 volunteers participated in the largest and most successful CHIditarod to date.  The effort and creative prowess of our participants was raised to new heights this year.  Art Carts, Grill Carts, Tanks, Cupcakes, Star Wars, Old People, Fire Engines, BaconRod, ChiditaBoot, and more.  The weather was a balmy, sunny 50 degrees.  The Environmental Encroachment magic circus band celebrated their 5th Chiditabirthday by kicking off the race with their signature flair.  Bellys were filled.  For those of you who won prizes, we offer our heartiest of congratulations! For those of you who didn’t, we remind you once again that it is the journey, not the destination that matters…and also that the CHIditarod’s judges are distinguished not so much by their excellent taste as by their sheer insanity and ability to hold onto a clipboard while inebriated.  CHIditarod is many things to many people.  Whether it be a food drive, race, fashion show, art parade, soapbox, barcrawl, charity, or some of the greatest improv streat theater ever, the CHIditarod Coreganizers salute all who partipated in manifesting CHIditarod V.  EPIC.

Food Drive & Fundraising

The sheer generosity humbles us.  Thank you, THANK YOU, for your heart-felt contributions towards helping Chicago’s hungry.  Through our noble and generous participants, CHIditarod V raised 14,525 pounds of food for the Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation.  Our preliminary reports indicated that the sheer volume of food – delivered in 2 trucks – overwhelmed their warehouse!!  We nearly doubled last year’s food intake.  The tri-teamed Area 3 Allstars raised over 3 tons by themselves!

CHIditarod V also empowered teams to raise funds online for the Federation.  We are ecstatic to announce that over $2,400 was raised for the Federation by these participating teams:

What an incredible show of generosity.  Be proud of your accomplishments, knowing that your efforts will benefit hundreds of fellow Chicago citizens.

CHIditarod is and always will be a charitable and sponsor-free event.  Various organizations throughout Chicago donated time, expertise, goods and goodwill to this year’s CHIditarod and our chosen charity – The Chicago Anti-hunger federation.  We’d like to publically thank the following non-exhaustive list of organizations:

A huge thank you to our 2010 checkpoints for graciously hosting the EPIC this year.  In the spirit of giving, our checkpoints have been asked to donate 15% of their CHIditarod profits directly to the Federation.  We will provide updates on that front soon.  In the meantime, next time you find yourself in one of these fine establishments, mention it to your bartenders!


Coreganizer Honor Roll

With the increase in teams each year, it becomes more and more challenging to spot and recognize teams of greatness within a 6 hour timespan.  The miracle of the interwebs let’s us relive CHIditarod through photo, video, and caption.  This year we’re introducing some post-race recognition for those who went above and beyond, but perhaps didn’t bask in the glory as deeply as they were meant to on race day.  We salute you.

  • Sunday Drivers – Always in character, crowd pleasers, shaking hands with bystanders.
  • Men with Large Hoses – The confetti canon!
  • Christians for Haiti (aka TBD All Stars) – Just plain hilarious.
  • Holy Rollers – for being so inappropriately appropriate, and for runningjayhawk’s twitter pics.
  • Svengoolie One – Incredibly fun, supurb execution, great theme, and for staying up all night making chicken.
  • Warenkorb der Feurigen Tod – Grill Carts serving ample amounts of superbly delicous meat and roasted veggies throughout the entire race.
  • The BaconRod – bacon… and more bacon!  Gifting over 30 pounds of delicious mouth-watering bacon to fellow CHIditarodders.
  • Super G Spot & Team Vagazzle – The perfect combination.
  • Flying Circus – a fanfreakingtastic job challenging Action Squad on direct donations!
  • The Breen Flickinger Clan – For feedin’ the needin!

2010 Official Prizes

We gave out about as many prizes in 2010 as there were teams in 2006 (wow).  Scroll way down if you’re looking for timing.

Team # Team Name Prize Category
3 Area 3 Allstars #1 1st Place Time
20 Area 3 Allstars #3 2nd Place Time
71 Gern and the Boys 3rd Place Time
86 Gybe Ho’s Super Bonus Challenge
95 English Cottage DFL
3 Area 3 Allstars #1 Best in Food
14 Yasknuza Yaluza 2nd Best in Food
58 Mountain Attack Kill Best in Show – The Tank!
61 Goonies 2nd Best in Show
5 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Worst in Show
13 Action-Squad Spirit of CHIditarod
61 Goonies 2nd Spirit of CHIditarod
3 Area 3 Allstars #1 Most Honorable Dishonorable Mention
30 CJ Ownz Best Sabotage – The Chiditaboot!
47 Mario Kart Good Samaritan Award
51 Ron Burgundy and the Channel Four News Team Best Simulated Coitus
116 TEAM VAGAZZLE Best in Vulva
13 Action-Squad Best in Karaoke
71 Gern and the Boys Best in Chaiku
82 The Communist Womanifesto Best in Cheerditarod
61 Goonies Best in Pole Dance
13 Action-Squad Bike Marshal’s Choice
10 Candy Coded Best Art Cart – Spinning Cupcake!
10 Candy Coded Industrial Design
13 Action-Squad Most Industrious Fundraiser
61 Goonies Chitwitterod – racer prize
Brian Lauvray Chitwitterod – nonracer prize
Steve Shanabruch Design contest winner

Photography and Video

There is an enormous amount of photography and videography out there.  We’ve created a CHIditarod 2010 Photo and Video page linking to everything we’ve found thus far.  You can comment on that page with additional links to media you discover across the web.



If you were new to the race, welcome!  Hopefully your bruises and egos have healed by now and you’ll consider joining us again.  You may have been surprised at the presence of covert ops, greasy palms, overt sabotage, and general sneakiness present at CHIditarod.  CHIditarod is many things to many people, including an opportunity to “do a good thing, but do it all wrong.”  Creative sabotage is possible and likely during CHIditarod, and its one of the characteristics that makes this event so unique.  We’ve received thoughtful feedback from teams this year about sabotage and how it affects racer dynamics.  We are especially interested in hearing additional feedback on this area.  We will be considering this information carefully as we move forward.  We’re planning on creating a couple how-to guides for next year, including “How not to be a douchebag at CHIditarod” and “CHIditarod for Noobs“.  Both will become instant bestsellers.


Wall of Shame

All teams submitting cart deposit refund proof have received their cart deposit refunds as promised as of this point.  The Leave No Trace effort of CHIditarod 2010 was a major improvement over 2009.  Thank you!!  As is (unfortunately) customary, a few teams left their carts behind.  We’ve archived these noble souls on the 2010 CHIditarod Wall of Shame.


Flags – a Big Deal

The CHIditarod Coreganizers are a small group of volunteers who expend countless amounts of time and energy preparing, executing, and wrapping (cleaning) up the CHIditarod.  We hold the event and its purpose in the highest regard.  We set the stage for racers to play a very large, exciting, dynamic game in Chicago, all for a very good and needed cause.  It is with sadness that we must share that Yet Another CHIditarod Flag was stolen from the race this year.  The perpetrators were creative in fashioning a ransom note and Polaroid pictures of the captive flag (which was very clever), demanding first place (i.e cash and a trophy) in exchange.  We deplore this heinous act!  Stealing from CHIditarod is of the highest insult and the ugliest display of poor form.  Coreganizers devote countless unpaid hours towards the CHIditarod, which continues to grow in complexity, size, and effort every year.  It is disappointing to know that we are thanked with theft.  As a racer planning sabotage, you might not know where to draw the line.  This is that line.  If you like/love CHIditarod, and want it to continue, please do what you can to ensure that whomever stole the flag in 2010 (and the one in 2009) will have the heart and conscience to return them to us unharmed.  No questions asked.  We’re serious.


We Want Your Feedback

Please participate in our post-race survey, which will be sent out to all racers in the next week. Choose your favorite teams in our new people’s choice poll, and tell us what you liked about the race and what you think we should work on for next year.  If you have immediate feedack to get off of your chest, please contact us now.



This is the full list of teams reporting in at the finish line.  If you note any weird spelling of your team name, just let us know and we’ll repair it. If – for whatever reason – your team info is missing from the tally, let us know all the details and we’ll add you.  Yes, we know that the computerized timing system had problems (again).  We have top men working on it.  TOP MEN.

# Team Name Time In Total Time
3 Area 3 Allstars #1 02:39:05 PM 01:51:04
20 Area 3 Allstars #3 02:44:43 PM 01:56:42
71 Gern and the Boys 03:03:34 PM 02:15:33
37 Rickshaw 03:07:08 PM 02:19:07
19 Area 3 Allstars #2 03:10:36 PM 02:22:35
114 Lions & Gorillas 03:11:27 PM 02:23:26
111 Power Biznitch 03:12:06 PM 02:24:05
53 Team MOX 03:16:27 PM 02:28:26
52 Kibbles und Blitzed 03:27:37 PM 02:39:36
14 Yasknuza Yaluza 03:30:06 PM 02:42:05
12 Cub Scout Troop 138 03:30:36 PM 02:42:35
42 Lycra Loin Brigade 03:31:08 PM 02:43:07
15 Polymeracer 03:32:12 PM 02:44:11
50 The Lunch Ladies 03:33:32 PM 02:45:31
29 More Lions! 03:34:18 PM 02:46:17
21 Rub-a-dub-dub 03:38:44 PM 02:50:43
35 Certified 03:39:06 PM 02:51:05
5 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 03:39:20 PM 02:51:19
81 Super G Spot 03:39:52 PM 02:51:51
40 The Lawbreakers 03:40:12 PM 02:52:11
104 Beer for My Horses 03:41:26 PM 02:53:25
7 Never Nudes 03:42:48 PM 02:54:47
63 Golden Girls 03:46:24 PM 02:58:23
54 The Holy Rollers!!! 03:48:04 PM 03:00:03
101 Gentlemen…To Evil 03:52:22 PM 03:04:21
119 Bad Advice Bears 03:52:43 PM 03:04:42
11 Madman Curie 03:53:10 PM 03:05:09
33 Plastered Paramedics 03:54:32 PM 03:06:31
24 Gump Enterprises 03:54:46 PM 03:06:45
22 Fore Play 03:55:21 PM 03:07:20
31 Jackie Treehorn & His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 03:55:42 PM 03:07:41
38 Team Burt Reynolds 03:56:45 PM 03:08:44
115 Closed Casket Crew (CCC) 03:57:10 PM 03:09:09
116 TEAM VAGAZZLE 04:03:31 PM 03:15:30
76 The Ghost of DJ Roomba 04:03:38 PM 03:15:37
72 Team Awesome 04:05:17 PM 03:17:16
26 Brokeass Teachers 04:05:33 PM 03:17:32
30 CJ Ownz 04:05:52 PM 03:17:51
118 Flying Circus 04:06:19 PM 03:18:18
78 Drunken Smurfs 04:14:05 PM 03:26:04
84 Metromix Chicago 04:14:30 PM 03:26:29
86 Gybe Ho’s 04:17:57 PM 03:29:56
32 Team BLAND 04:18:09 PM 03:30:08
94 New Zoo Review 04:18:26 PM 03:30:25
28 Band of Gypsies 04:18:50 PM 03:30:49
68 Team Angry Dragon 04:18:58 PM 03:30:57
100 The Warriors 04:20:19 PM 03:32:18
45 We’d Love to Turn You On 04:21:02 PM 03:33:01
77 G Bustas 04:21:59 PM 03:33:58
62 Carnyl Knöwledge 04:22:17 PM 03:34:16
79 The Urban Explorers 04:23:40 PM 03:35:39
69 2CH3-4H 04:24:24 PM 03:36:23
4 Svengoolie One 04:24:43 PM 03:36:42
51 Ron Burgundy and the Channel Four News Team 04:30:57 PM 03:42:56
13 Action-Squad 04:31:04 PM 03:43:03
6 1.21 gigawatts 04:31:13 PM 03:43:12
83 Team Wingspan 04:31:31 PM 03:43:30
48 Real Reality Sucks 04:31:58 PM 03:43:57
96 In Tent City 04:35:58 PM 03:47:57
49 Imma be 04:40:23 PM 03:52:22
82 The Communist Womanifesto 04:40:37 PM 03:52:36
80 Team Ram-Rod 04:42:25 PM 03:54:24
90 Save a Horse, Ride a Cowgirl 04:43:05 PM 03:55:04
56 I’d Hit It 04:47:29 PM 03:59:28
102 Magic School Bus 04:48:15 PM 04:00:14
112 This aint our first rodeo 04:51:10 PM 04:03:09
99 John’s Team 04:52:00 PM 04:03:59
18 Dudestorm 04:54:08 PM 04:06:07
46 Lactose Tolerant 04:57:39 PM 04:09:38
109 The Coal Barons 05:01:28 PM 04:13:27
1 LAKE’D 05:01:38 PM 04:13:37
10 Candy Coded 05:02:02 PM 04:14:01
61 Goonies 05:03:01 PM 04:15:00
103 Clubbing Baby Seals 05:03:05 PM 04:15:04
59 TBD All-Stars 05:03:15 PM 04:15:14
44 Tricky Dick and ze Jager Meisters 05:03:45 PM 04:15:44
75 The Mooseknuckles 05:04:24 PM 04:16:23
91 Sunday Drivers 05:04:37 PM 04:16:36
67 Ice Road Truckers 05:06:08 PM 04:18:07
88 Revulvas 05:08:52 PM 04:20:51
16 The Tony Danza’s 05:13:33 PM 04:25:32
17 The Chicago Reacharounds 05:15:07 PM 04:27:06
55 Shipwrecked 05:17:48 PM 04:29:47
65 Remember, Remember the 5th of November 05:22:21 PM 04:34:20
89 The Olympians 05:23:37 PM 04:35:36
58 Mountain Attack Kill 05:23:54 PM 04:35:53
47 Mario Kart 05:27:33 PM 04:39:32
120 Jersey Shore 05:27:39 PM 04:39:38
97 Cluck You 05:27:51 PM 04:39:50
60 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 05:32:34 PM 04:44:33
87 Eleven Seven TEAM 05:36:34 PM 04:48:33
110 Baconrod 05:42:09 PM 04:54:08
23 Freakalicious 05:46:49 PM 04:58:48
39 Benetton 05:58:43 PM 05:10:42
95 English Cottage 06:11:21 PM 05:23:21
8 Warenkorb der Feurigen Tod
41 Team Dills
43 Dee dee and her boys
57 DonkeyPunchologists
92 the ninja turtlers
107 The Bennys
113 polska polska
121 Drunk and Woolies
2 Cafaino’s Mustache
9 United Hosers of Canadia, Eh?
25 The Dancing Goombas
27 Team Dinglehopper
34 Men with Large Hoses
36 Mario Kart
64 The Petting Zoo
66 We’re Legendary! Snitches!!
70 Drill. Tap. Screw
73 Jurassic Sparks
74 DePauw
85 RedEye
93 Those Meddling Kids
98 Suit Up!
105 fatcamp
106 Care Bears
108 Paddy Wagon
117 Whiskey and Dreams