Skip to content

Chiditarod 2012 Results

    Start of the 7th annual Chiditarod, photo by Sol Neelmn

    CHIditarod VII

    A smashing success! On March 3, 2012, 161 teams registered/151 teams raced and almost 275 volunteers participated in this year’s epic CHIditarod.  Teams ran a 4.8ish mile race between 5 of 8 checkpoints in Chicago’s Wicker Park, Bucktown, West Town and Ukranian Village neighborhoods.

    2012-tons of foodCHIditarod catapulted its anti-hunger efforts to new heights in 2012.  Greater Chicago Food Depository benefited from this year’s food donations.  We received 12,164 pounds of food day of the race (the majority of that came in the morning; we thank you racers for getting with our new bring-your-food-to-the-starting-line program so quickly!)  Area 3 All-Stars used their prize money, fundraising and beer tips to raise a total of 15,214 12,164 ** pounds of food! CHIditarod’s total amount of food donations for the Greater Chicago Food Depository is a whopping 27,378 21,677 ** pounds — a new CHIditarod record.  The Couch Dogs team brought in the most food on race-day — a massive 260 lbs!  The Cottage Grove Heights Community Coalition and the Concerned Neighbors of Burnside were the beneficiary organizations of all monetary donations, equaling $18,500.  Our most epic monetary donations came from The Derailers with $6,126.69 raised!  This significant amount of funds will be used to establish a community garden in the Cottage Grove Heights neighborhood, which is known as a “food desert” in Chicago.

    CHIditarod’s rich artistic traditions continue to evolve to greater and more elaborate heights each year.  2012 did not disappoint, with 7 Art Carts running the race.  The Atlantic City Roads Committee featured a 2 cart mobster “bootlegging operation” — complete with a mobile office where the Boss conducted “business”.  Gentleman (g)’s Photography Studio (and Definitely Not a Speakeasy) offered a fully-immersive respite from the chaos of race day and some of the best company one could hope for.  The HoboQ championed its 4th CHIditarod season, offering the best BBQ available anywhere on the North Side.  CHIditarod superstars The Derailers brought a hand-made WW1-era fighter plane complete with joystick controller, machine-gun sound effects, and a bombed-out, smoking French countryside.  And while definitely not an art cart (as they follow ALL racer rules to the letter, including fitting their cart through a standard-sized door), CHIditarod elites Action Squad conjured a 6 foot DRAGON with glowing red eyes, smoke-filled movable jaws, who answered to the name “Tim”.

    The weather didn’t let us down.  There was no 50 degree day in sight, with race-day conditions topping out at a brisk 38 degrees with flurries of snow, dogs, and an occasional cat.  Any CHIditarod without rain is glorious.  Teams conquered the traditional 4.8ish miles between the traditional 5 assigned checkpoints ending at the Bottom Lounge.  CHIditarod legends Environmental Encroachment magic circus band began the race with glorious fanfare, as well as ringing in our awards ceremony at the finish line.

    No CHIditarod results would be complete without a few after-the-race prizes.  As anyone who’s participated in CHIditarod will tell you – there’s far more going on than any 1, let alone 20, people can observe and acurately judge, especially in such a short amount of time.  It takes days, weeks, months for all of the pictures, footage, stories, and bruises to heal.  That’s why we honor a few select teams after the glory of race day.  This year we have two such awards.  The Coreganizer’s Choice, and the People’s Choice award.

    Coreganizer’s Choice – Atlantic City Roads Committee – “The Big Shoulders Award”

    Many stories about many excellent team cross our.. desk.. after the race comes to a close.  However, one team stands alone, and deserves the highest honors for their original efforts.  Here’s one of their stories, as told by a first-year volunteer.

    I was at Phyllis’s helping with the Mad Libs Challenge when I was discretely tapped on my shoulder.  I then turned around to see a man dressed in a dark colored trench coat with a suit underneath and a nice hat with a feather in it.  He then whispers “Ma’am, My Boss would like to discuss some business with you in his office.”  I then replied “What kind of business is your boss in?”  He says “I cannot disclose that information at this time.  Please follow me this will only take a moment.”  So we walk out through the side door into the beer garden.  There we find the Atlantic City Roads Committee.  They had a full-on desk with wood-panelled wall backdrop, a grandfather clock, leather chair, and an old phone.  Behind them they had their car(t) and what would look like a bootlegging liquor operation.  He then explained to me they were looking to discuss a possible bribery. He needed votes and to leave this checkpoint as soon as possible for he had more business to attend to.  He then told me he deals in Whiskey.  As you can imagine my ears perked up!  I explained to him that he had come to the right lady for these sorts of dealings.  I like to talk and do a lot of it and for the right price I do my best to get him what he needs.  He then had his secretary Lady ( dressed to the 9s ) hand me a pint of Seagrams 7.  As we were in our meeting a group of my friends came up behind me and interrupted a bit.  I pointed out that I came with an entourage and it might just take a little more bribery to get the job done.  He then explained that he had a limited amount of resources but then reached into his inner pocket of his trench coat and handed me another bottle. He said he had a good feeling I would do what was needed for his team to be recognized for their efforts.  His top henchmen then politely and quietly showed me out. I and he then walked up to the time keepers and brought them Whiskey to get them moving.  Throughout our whole dubious transaction the whole team was in perfect character.  Right after their dealings at this location they then packed up their whole outfit for the next.  This team did a wonderful job at capturing the Italian-American gangster/Prohibition – era feel.  They really had the spirit of the event and what would appear what CHIditarod is looking for in the way of originality and stand out uniqueness!

    This was my first year of experiencing CHIditarod.   I feel honored and blessed to have been a part of something so unique and impacting.  Thank You to everyone involved – it was truly a eye opening and inspiring event.

    The People’s Choice Award – Action Squad

    Action Squad Dragon Smoke 2012
    As chosen by the people of CHIditarod – the racers and volunteers – on their post-rod surveys.  The overwhelming winner is Action Squad, a team that needs no introduction.  Here’s a snippet of what you – the PEOPLE – had to say about Action Squad in 2012.

    A charming example of competitive spirit and chivalry all live long day.
    Action Squad are very good peoples.
    Awesome theme and concept.
    The dragon was awesome. I honestly think it’s pretty self-explanatory.
    The giant dragon was awesome, they even beheaded it!
    Because they flat-out RULE!!!
    Because they were nice and fun and had a great idea and were really into it.
    So much work and details in their carts. Totally amazeballs!
    That was a sweet cart, plus they brought the head into Bottom Lounge.
    The level of detail and crafstmanship they put into their dragon cart + team outfits/character + fundraising abilities + bringing 75 lbs of food + overall good sportsmanship.
    The most impressive cart I have ever seen.
    Their cart was amazing and their costumes appeared period appropriate and authentic.
    Their passion keeps the fire in my belly.
    They have the overall spirit of CHIditarod.

    This amazing event would not happen without our fantastic teams, dedicated volunteers and amazing donors. THANK YOU all for your support, participation, creativity, blood, sweat, and beers.  And for evolving CHIditarod to newer and more incredible levels each year.

    2012 Prize Listing

    Team # Team Name Prize Category
    307 Action Squad The People’s Choice Award
    300 Atlantic City Roads Commitee Coreganizer’s Wildcard – The Big Shoulders Award
    302 The Derailers Most Epic Fundraiser – $6,126.69
    307 Action Squad 2nd Most Epic Fundraiser – $5,155.01
    343 The Glitter Girls Best in Show
    Vibrancy, character, costume, theme, amazing art, rocked hard core at all the contests, fundraised during the event, tweeted like it was their job and posed for pictures with spectators along the way. 
    307 Action Squad 2nd Best in Show
    340 Kill Bill Volume 1 3rd Best in Show
    343 The Glitter Girls Chitwitterod
    Consistent Tweeting since the beginning and throughout the race, plus posted images.
    349 Sofa-King Awesome! DFL
    368 Team Aero 3rd Place Time
    317 Jackie Treehorn and His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 2nd Place Time
    314 Area 3 Allstars #1 1st Place Time
    374 Heads Will Roll Photograher’s Vogue Award
    They had a great pose ready for the Photo Booth and were rocking it out for the camera despite the cold.
    302 The Derailers Best Art Cart
    305 Hobo-Q IV Best Food Cart
    Happy Ending
    (Booze Hounds had 248 lbs but were not present to win)
    2nd Place Food Drive – 246 lbs
    155 Couch Dawgs 1st Place Food Drive – 260 lbs
    314, 315, 316 Area III All-Stars teams 1, 2 & 3 Most Overall Food – 15,214 lbs
    In addition to collective 151 lbs of food on the day of the race, this team procured 15,214 lbs via fundraising, making additional food purchases with tips from beers throughout the day , and by donating their prize money!
    376 Team Drew (90’s Villains) Bike Marshal’s Choice
    For obnoxious bullhorning in the face of misdirected anti-sabotage, followed by 80 proof redemption for the marshal squadron.  Classiest villains yet. 
    308 Miss Houston, We Have a Problem Spirit of CHIditarod
    Good Samaritan – For helping to Leave no Trace, picking up garbage theirs and others, for keeping the event clean.
    159 The Rockford Peaches Action Squad Dynasty Award of Epic Awesomeness
    Action Squad: “We gave it to them for excelling in several of Action-Squad’s core values: positive spirit, excellent costumes, and a stellar karaoke performance.”
    159 The Rockford Peaches Rookie of the Year Award
    Awesome attitude, awesome costumes, finished with a gusto!
    191 The Breakfast Club Wannabes You’re Cherry’s Been Popped
    Continually getting heinously sabotaged and kept going and going and going…
    Coreganizers Coreganizer Frankie and Little Ersfeld Best Tale of Woe
    For getting punched in the stomach by a stupid, now-banned team who didn’t believe she was pregnant.  Violation of rule #7.  See the Wall of Shame.
    343 Glitter Girls Contest @ 5 Star – The Naughty/Nice Gong Show
    320 CJ Ownz Contest @ Roots – Western Song Rewrite
    189 The CHAMBions Contest @ Nicks’s – Purgatory – 2nd place
    347 Get a Clue Contest @ Nicks’s – Purgatory – 1st place
    315 Area III All-Stars 3 (Beatle Juice) Contest @ Darkroom – Dionysus Says…
    187 Seeds of the Poisoned Apple Contest @ Phyllis’s – Madlibs
    325 Dances With Bulls Contest @ Mahoney’s – Karaoke & Interpretive Dance
    188 The Bluth Company Best Bribe
    374 Heads Will Roll Best Sabotage
    Dan Brown (t-shirt), Dimitri Acosta (patch), and Dave Zibell (flyer) Design Contest Winners

    Finish Times

    Consult 2012 Results – By the Numbers for complete finish times.

    Food Drive Poundage

    Consult 2012 Results – By the Numbers for complete tallies of food drive poundage.


    Fundraising & Monetary Donations

    Chiditarod partnered with WePay for our online fundraising in 2012.  WePay has the lowest rates in the industry and amazingly awesome employees.  It’s super important that Chiditarodders get the biggest bang for their buck… hooray to WePay for helping our fundraisers generate maximum funds for our anti-hunger charities.

    • Shannon Flynn – $7.00
    • Last Call (Team #354) – $55.00
    • Are You Serious Clark? (Team #344) – $90
    • FREAK-A-CHRISTMAS (Team #318) – $130.00
    • Seeds from the Poisoned Apple (Team #187) – $200.00
    • The Mess B-Team (Team #132) – $277.00
    • Happy Endings (Team #149) – $305.00
    • The Sandy Claws Kidnappers (Team #301)- $330.00
    • The Hard Day’s Knights (Team #335) – $390.00
    • Toddlers & Tiaras (Team #366) – $390.00
    • Wigs Jacked for Jesus (Team #136) – $400.69 + $60 = $469.69
    • 3 Girls, a ‘Stache, and a Tail, 6th ed. (Team #309) – $520.00
    • The Rockford Peaches (Team #159)- $550.00
    • CHIditarod Coreganizers – $578.00
    • S’moregasm (Team #377) – $666.00
    • Firewater Lounge – 713.80
    • The Glitter Girls (Team #343) – $300.00 + $2,263.06 = $2,563.06
    • Action-Squad (Team #307) – $5,155.01
    • The Derailers (Team #302) – $6,126.29 + $55.00 = $6,181.29
    • Phyllis’ Musical Inn – $200.00
    • Cobra Lounge – $375.00
    • Mahoney’s – $400.00
    • Five Star Bar – $500.00
    • Fifty 50 – $580.00
    • Roots Handmade Pizza – $766.50

    Prize, Food, Equipment & Service Donations

    And while It’s hard to say enough about all the crazy-amazing-beautiful-inspiring-people that make CHIditarod possible, we continue to cherish our checkpoints through the years (new and old alike) who treat us and YOU right, we are thankful to have such great businesses in our community that love a good time.  Go support them as they support us!


    Please recall that while your best bet to find lost articles is to contact bars directly, we may still have some insight to Lost/Found items; and we are still collating information for the Wall of Shame, so that we can get your deposits back to their deserving homes along with the carts that were taken (if you are one of the few still waiting, please email your cart return photo to ASAP).

    Chiditarodders big and small, veteran and noob, racer and volunteer: THANK YOU.  Bask in the glory of a job well done, congratulate yourselves for serving Chicago’s hungry, and keep your creative fires lubricated.  Chiditarod VIII approaches.  Mush.

    ** Correction: Information supplied to us in 2012 to convert cash donations to GCFD from one of our teams (Area 3 Allstars) into food poundage is not consistent with how GCFD currently reports food donations in 2013. The conversion rate provided in 2012 was $1 = 2.33 lbs of food; the rate provided in 2013 is $1 = 1.8 lbs of food. Therefore the totals in 2012 of 27,378 lbs of food have been updated to more accurately reflect 12,164 lbs of physical food poundage collected on race day and $5,285.09 of funds contributed by Chiditarod team Area 3 All-Stars (equating to 9,513 lbs of food) for a new grand total race day contribution of 21,677 lbs. Monetary donations to the Cottage Grove Heights Community Garden remain unchanged. We regret any confusion, and we are deeply grateful to all of our donors and participants. We strive for the utmost transparency with all calculations. We will be reporting 2013’s totals using GCFD’s stated method, which is expressed as “meals served”.