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2017 Results

    Photo by Bartek Karas

    CHIditarod XII

    March 4, 2017

    Photo by Bartek Karas

    18,404 Meals for the Hungry

     22,085 Pounds of Food Collected

    $45,000 Raised to Fight Hunger in Chicago

    Eight hundred women, men, astronauts, “school kids”, Vegas show girls, wizards, medicine men, tin men, circus entertainers, volunteers, bananas, philanthropists, leisure enthusiasts and enthusiastic mushers gathered on a balmy 42 degree morning to create the annual spectacular costumed charity shopping cart race epic mobile food drive — CHIditarod XII. The sun-filled streets were filled with nearly 200 volunteers and 113 teams of 5 heavily-costumed humans, raising Food and Funds in the pursuit of feeding the hungry while racing tricked-out shopping carts through 5 themed checkpoint establishments on the thawing streets of Chicago. Truly, a spectacle like none other.

    The annual event raced through Chicago’s West Town Ukrainian Village neighborhoods, visiting five checkpoints each. Mahoney’s, Phyllis’s Musical Inn, Five Star, Roots Pizza, and Cobra Lounge hosted costumed superstars with their own themes and contests for teams to participate in. All bars generously donate a portion of their proceeds to The CHIditarod Foundation to aid in the goal of fighting hunger in Chicago.

    CHIditarod is always finding new ways to positively impact our community and those in need. This year, over 100 pounds of toiletries were donated to Sarah’s Circle. Sarah’s Circle is a non-profit agency serving women who are homeless or in need of a safe space. They also focus on women needing support because of domestic violence. Thank You to everyone who donated race day, at ChiditaBowl, and at the Burners Without Borders Chicago Winter Ball.

    Food Drive

    With the help of our friends and at the Greater Chicago Food Depository, the CHIditarod XII food drive collected enough food to provide 18,404 meals for Chicago’s hungry. Thank you CHIditarod participants for being amazing all-stars and for making a difference in the lives of thousands of your neighbors.

    Photo by Justin Goh
    [one_half last=last]

    Best in Food Drive :: The CHIvengers

    The CHIvengers avenged hunger to astronomical heights in 2017. This team brought in 1,300 pounds of food to give meals to those in need.

    Honorable Food Mentions

    Hot-n-Ready Samurai were our second closest team, close behind, bringing in 1,130 pounds of food. Neck and Neck! A HUGE THANK YOU to these teams who help us make sure food is not a top worry for Chicagoans.

    2017 saw a new partnership formed between CHIditarod and Kraft Heinz, who generously donated 2,055 lbs of condiments, including ketchup, mustard, mayo, BBQ sauce, and ranch dressing!


    Art Carts


    This year’s are carts took to the streets strutting their stuff, passing out freshly cooked tacos, challenging people to games of dodgeball, and providing an “out of this world” experience. Art Carts are those teams who build bigger, crazier, and insanely interactive carts, delighting racers, spectators, and shocking all those who behold them. One team even built and piloted a school bus through the streets!

    Photo by Bartek Karas



    [one_half last=last]
    Photo by Robert Werner

    Chiditacademy Learnstitute School of Higher Learning K-13



    Epic Fundraising

    To date, CHIditarod has given out $95,000 in grants to local nonprofits who share in our mission to stop hunger in Chicago. This year our Racers, volunteers, checkpoints, and organizers — with the help of their families, friends, and communities — raised $45,000 for the CHIditarod Foundation — setting a new CHIditarod record.

    In 2017 we will once again fight hunger challenges and support community centered initiatives that address hunger, food scarcity, and education via our CHIditarod Grant Program. Visit our grant page to learn about the program and how your organization can apply during our upcoming 2017 grant cycle.


    Most Epic Fundraising: 3GS&T

    This year’s fundraising was a battle to the end. The 11th (yes, that’s 11 years in a row) Edition of 3 Girls, a Stash, and a Tail, SMASHED the previous fundraising record. It all came down to the final moments of online donations, when they secured their winning lead, bringing in $7,905.43. Epic.

    Their theme was a custom rendition of the Garbage Pail Kids ™, customized to each racer. Yes, that’s a live chia helmet.
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    2nd Most Epic Fundraising: CHIdiots

    In true CHIditarod fashion, the CHIdiots challenged Team 3GS&T to a heated, friendly fundraising rivalry all the way to the end, barely coming in second place with a fundraising total of $7,297.45. They “flew” to their own new heights with an “out of this world” fundraising effort to help secure the 2017 CHIditarod grant program. Truly spectacular.

    The CHIdiots outfitted their cart as an Apollo lunar lander. It was huge. And we hear it actually flew.
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    While CHIditarod racers do wondrous things, none of this would be possible without the 200 brave and selfless volunteers that make the CHIditarod race happen. Volunteers are truly the MVPs of CHIditarod.

    Not only do many of them fundraise, they also build the starting and finish lines, create immersive and exciting checkpoint environments, keep you safe while mobile, and have a blast right alongside you. To our volunteers, we honor and salute you all. Thank you.


    More Winners!




    Best in Show :: Queer Mishaps

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    Dressed to the Nines:: CHIditarOz & Toto Recall



    Team Queer Mishaps
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    CHIditarOz & Toto Recall


    This team touted healing potions, ventriloquism, and mystery, roameing the streets of Chicago trying to save those in need. Their cart was a real traveling wagon, they used snake oils and potions, and were on point all day long. That’s how you win Best in Show.
    [one_half last=last]
    Though every team comes dressed to impress, the team that really stood out was CHIditarOz & Toto Recall. They had the Tin Man and Toto, a Wicked Witch and her flying monkeys, and a GIANT rainbow and tornado made out of up-cycled plastic bags. They followed the yellow brick road all the way through CHIditaLand to victory.


    Best Use of Duct Tape :: City Dickers

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    Rookie of the Year :: Just Peachy




    [one_half last=last]
    Photo by Justin Goh


    One of CHIditarod’s most coveted award is the best use of duct tape. There were a few teams who got all “duct’d” out, but this one really “stuck” with us. Their Dick Tracy was suited up in a trench coat made entirely of yellow duct tape, duct tape fedora and all. Those lines were so clean, too.
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    Just Peachy was in a league of the own, as a rookie CHIditarod team. They had trading cards, gave out peanuts and crackerjacks, had uniforms and really went for a home run bringing a major league performance on race day. This is how you do CHIditarod the first time around. A definite home run.


    People’s Choice :: Chiditacademy Learnstitute School of Higher Learning K-13

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    Most Honorable Dishonorable Mention :: Derelict Dumpster Fire




    [one_half last=last]



    Jocks and nerds, star students and the guy who ditches class. They all hopped on the cool bus and took CHIditarod for a ride. Maybe they engaged you in some school yard games, gave you the answers to the upcoming test, wondered why you were late for gym class, or perhaps drank some beers behind the bleachers with you. You voted, we listened. The Chiditacademy Learnstitute School of Higher Learning K-13 is your 2017 People’s Choice.
    [one_half last=last]
    Being a ChiditaVirgin is not easy thing to do. Derelicte Dumpster Fire brought an amazing cart, with approved flame effects, and years of flame experience. However even the pros can mess up, having one of their costumes get singed in the heat of the race. Congratulations on Doing a Good Thing but Doing it all wrong.


    Fastest Dogs :: That’s Bulls*#t!

    CHIditarod is, in fact, a race! Teams race for an average of 5 grueling miles. Thankfully, they have 25 minutes to rest and water their dawgs at each checkpoint. Mushing into history in CHIditarod XII was team “That’s Bulls*#t!”. As they crossed the finish line, they were thoroughly out of breath and looked ready to puke from hitting the pavement so hard. After four years of vying for first place, they finally made it as the Fastest Dawgs! They beat out some heavy competition, the aptly-named “Team Formerly Known as the 2016 Fastest Cart”, vanquishing them from their title.

    These are just a few of the incredible achievements from our teams. There are countless other amazing things our participants create; we wish we had the space to showcase them all. To all who co-created the epic that was CHIDitarod XII — we salute you with highest honors.

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    In Honor of Tom LaPorte


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    CHIditarod XII is dedicated to Tom LaPorte, who passed away a few days after CHIditarod XII. Tom was a force in creating, shaping, and guiding CHIditarod. He was instrumental in helping to form the event, set the tone, and provide mentorship and encouragement to us all. His guidance interacting with the City of Chicago, forming partnerships and coalitions, building consensus, and helping others was unparalleled and the reason CHIditarod is as successful as it is today. He participated in the event from start to finish from year one through year twelve. Tom will forever be a part of CHIditarod, and a part of us all.

    To all of you — Thank you for a record making year. We love and salute you. Mush!



    [tab title=”Prizes”]

    Award(s) Team Name
    Best Bribe The Great Heathen Army
    3rd Best in Show The Great Heathen Army
    Best Use of Duct Tape Award City Dickers
    Hot Mess Award Uncharted Territory
    Most Food Donated The Chivengers
    Most Epic Fundraiser 3GS&T11thEd
    Spirit of Chiditarod The Team Who Must Not Be Named
    2nd most Epic Fundraiser Chidiots
    3rd most Epic Fundraiser ChicaGoGoGirls
    4th most epic Fundraiser GardenWarfare:FeatheralBureauofInvestigation
    Best Art Cart Chidiots
    2nd Best Art Cart Chiditacademy Learnstitute School of Higher Learning K-13
    Bike Marshals Choice Dungeons & Flagons
    2nd Place Time The team formerly known as the 2016 fastest cart
    3rd Place Time No Money Down
    Food Drive – 3rd Place Alternative Facts
    Food Drive – 4th Place YOLO 2017
    Dressed to the Nines: Best Team Costume Chiditaroz & Toto Recal
    Rookie of the Year Award Just Peachy


    [tab title=”Fundraising”]

    CHIditarod Foundation Fundraising

    Team Funds Raised Food Donated
    3GS&T11thEd $7,905.43 145.5
    Chidiots $7,297.45 134.5
    ChicaGoGoGirls $3,817.16 78.8
    GardenWarfare:FeatheralBureauofInvestigation $3,388.36 138.4
    GardenWarfare:GnomelandSecurity $3,356.45 118.6
    TheCareBears (Burger Time 2.0) $3,149.85 98
    Coreganizers $2584.74 2,156.6
    TheKnightswhosayNi! $1,428.51 151
    SecretGentleman’sClubChiditarod2017 $1,263.51 0
    RIP2016 $1,259.29 84.8
    FordCaulkorDieTrying! $1,043.25 126.8
    RogersParkRenegades $985.97 251
    CHIditarOZ $749.87 82
    Zambronies $721.65 83.5
    Sgt.Pepper’sLonelyCartsClub $700.28 99.5
    FirewaterLounge&Friends@FiveStarBar $583.79 0
    DerelicteDumpsterFire $552.56 114.6
    TeamZissou $434.38 121.5
    WigsJackedforJesus $416.76 603
    NoMoneyDown $395 103.2
    GoodGriefGirls $379.24 186.4
    WillyWonka’sWetDream $345.73 120.5
    Mahoneys Crew – High Noon Saloon of Doom on the Moon $268
    RIPRinglingBros. $265 207.5
    TheVelourComets $255.27 96.1
    Sha’dynasty $237.87 81.8
    QueerMishap $215.03 169.5
    Boats’N’Hoes $200 164.3
    CUBEERS $196.65 69.2
    BucketOBlood $195.52 184.4
    TenPintsForGryffindor $166.38 160
    WILMA!! (SPACE JAM) $126.38 146
    TheChivengers $104.6 1300
    TheCooterLounge $84.24 147.3
    Wow $50 96.5
    ToBeDetermined…(Gone Bananas) $20 78
    UnchartedTaritory $11.52 130.4
    TheTBDs (The Sesame Streakers) $0 107.8
    That’sBulls*#t! $0 144
    Re-Formation! $0 106
    Sycamores (Just Peachy) $0 98.9
    GazaStrippers $0 185
    Theteamformerlyknownasthe2016fastestcart $0 248
    LostLegends2016 $0 265.9
    TeamTeamwork $0 0
    CunningStunts $0 101.5
    TeamDrewTBD (Octopi Wall Street) $0 87.4
    HMSPaulaDeen $0 100.4
    YoungFoxPopes (Astromals) $0 185
    Michael&TheQuigley’s $0 70.5
    AllSoulsTrain $0 139.6
    Blood,Sweat,andBeers $0 164
    Cops $0 115
    CarRamrod $0 82.8
    Drunkin’Donuts $0 73.2
    TheGreatHeathenArmy $0 514
    bigmouth $0 116
    Chi-townRising! $0 115
    ChicaGogoGirlsTeam2 $0 92.4
    JoeyFatone2 $0 150.5
    LanceBass $0 93
    TheGapersBlockade $0 77.2
    JoeyFatone1 $0 89.5
    TeamIt’sAlwaysSunny $0 87
    goonsquad $0 84.8
    TotoRecall $0 80
    TeamSunnyvale $0 108.4
    TheTeamWhoMustNotBeNamed $0 86.6
    bigmouth2 $0 91.5
    WERKOUT $0 85.5
    TheSwell12 (Cart ‘n’ Eggs) $0 127.2
    Dungeons&Flagons $0 464
    RIPRinglingBros.II $0 155.7
    AlternativeFacts $0 985.6
    Threebrothersandtheregulars $0 103
    ACLIVITI $0 96.1
    Boozin’AwayHunger $0 87.8
    TheYumYums $0 146.4
    Hobo-Q $0 547
    Team4 $0 118.8
    NeverSleep (Camp Never Sleep) $0 74
    AmericanOutlaws:ChicagoChapter $0 77.4
    Munsters $0 340.5
    TheTransplants $0 106
    TBDowell (The Men of the Merle St. Marty) $0 102.8
    TheBreakfastClub $0 118
    ChiditacademyLearnstituteSchoolofHigherLearningK-13 $0 222.5
    MightyDucks $0 91.5
    TheHawks $0 100.2
    CashewOusside.HowbowDah $0 0
    MagicSchoolBus $0 115.6
    RonBurgundy&theChannel4NewsTeam $0 99
    Goatbusters $0 112.6
    KirkFoggofWar $0 176.4
    TheHalf-BloodSprints $0 98
    Let’sPlayHOUSE $0 106
    SpiceUpYourLife $0 159
    StreetLife $0 113
    TeamRagnarok $0 82
    BellyMagic $0 137
    TheMuffinMan (Hazardtists) $0 141
    BillBrasky’sRevival $0 106
    DABADOO (MONSTARS) $0 129.4
    AmericanHorrorStory $0 193
    ThePort-HolePortal $0 168
    YABBA (TOON SQUAD) $0 153.6
    CityDickers $0 112.2
    Channel12News $0 84.4
    TeamAwesome $0 99.4
    UNITY $0 125.5
    SuperHEROINES $0 90.8
    Hot-N-ReadySamurai $0 1130.8
    Gotham’sReckoning $0 136.8
    YOLO2017 $0 901
    TripDeuceNiner $0 92
    TeamNameHere (The Fortunate Sons) $0 111.8
    TheCrazyDanes $0 84.2
    TheCrazyDanes2 $0 84.2
    Indogbeers,we’veonlyhadone! $0 0
    TeamWiidcard $0 101.5


    [tab title=”Timing”]

    CHIditarod is in fact a race! Rushing from the start, hitting each bar for a 25 minute rest, and completing a five mile race is grueling work.

    Team # Team Name Time
    1503 That’s Bulls*#t! 03:07:39
    1510 The team formerly known as the 2016 fastest cart 03:12:29
    1535 No Money Down 03:18:04
    1578 Gone Bananas 03:20:13
    1545 goon squad 03:40:29
    1611 The Fortunate Sons 03:40:59
    1562 Alternative Facts 03:43:02
    1588 Street Life 03:50:37
    1590 Belly Magic 03:50:54
    1589 Team Ragnarok 03:54:32
    1560 Sha’dynasty 03:58:55
    1514 Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Carts Club 04:01:09
    1516 Octopi Wall Street 04:02:50
    1571 Munsters 04:05:14
    1531 The Great Heathen Army 04:05:24
    1580 Magic School Bus 04:06:23
    1557 Cart ‘n Eggs 04:07:51
    1569 Camp Never Sleep 04:08:32
    1608 Wow 04:09:22
    1574 The Breakfast Club 04:11:53
    1566 The Yum Yums 04:13:17
    1564 ACLIVITI 04:16:00
    1551 The Team Who Must Not Be Named 04:16:00
    1595 American Horror Story 04:16:51
    1519 HMS Paula Deen 04:17:50
    1550 Queer Mishap 04:18:39
    1548 Toto Recall 04:21:28
    1547 CHIditarOZ 04:21:39
    1505 Zambronies 04:22:45
    1604 SuperHEROINES 04:23:38
    1532 The Chivengers 04:24:34
    1614 Uncharted Taritory 04:24:41
    1529 Car Ramrod 04:25:49
    1527 BurgerTime 2.0 04:26:30
    1599 Channel 12 News 04:27:00
    1522 Astromals 04:27:48
    1502 The Sesame Streakers 04:28:17
    1570 American Outlaws: Chicago Chapter 04:28:36
    1520 Garden Warfare: Gnomeland Security 04:30:49
    1565 Boozin’ Away Hunger 04:31:02
    1587 Spice Up Your Life 04:32:16
    1501 3GS&T 11th Ed 04:33:33
    1512 Garden Warfare: Featheral Bureau of Investigation 04:34:56
    1609 YOLO 2017 04:35:29
    1561 The Velour Comets 04:37:53
    1586 Let’s Play HOUSE 04:39:07
    1600 Team Awesome 04:39:39
    1518 Team Zissou 04:40:43
    1508 Just Peachy 04:41:56
    1511 Lost Legends 2016 04:44:29
    1583 Bucket O Blood 04:48:52
    1555 Derelicte Dumster Fire 04:48:55
    1598 City Dickers 04:52:13
    1558 Dungeons & Flagons 04:53:10
    1546 Good Grief Girls 04:54:29
    1593 Rogers Park Renegades 04:56:27
    1554 RIP Ringling Bros. 05:04:06
    1559 RIP Ringling Bros. II 05:07:22
    1591 Hazardtists 05:09:45
    1582 Goatbusters 05:20:35
    1596 The Port-Hole Portal Did Not Finish
    1612 The Crazy Danes Did Not Finish
    1613 The Crazy Danes 2 Did Not Finish
    1615 In dog beers, we’ve only had one! Did Not Finish
    1507 Re-Formation! Did Not Finish
    1517 RIP 2016 Did Not Finish
    1530 Drunkin’ Donuts Did Not Finish
    1594 MONSTARS Did Not Finish
    1597 TOON SQUAD Did Not Finish
    1602 SPACE JAM Did Not Finish
    1544 Team It’s Always Sunny Did Not Finish
    1553 The Cooter Lounge Did Not Finish
    1579 Cashew Ousside. Howbow Dah Did Not Finish
    1581 Ron Burgundy & the Channel 4 News Team Did Not Finish
    1584 Kirk Fogg of War Did Not Finish
    1601 Boats ‘N’ Hoes Did Not Finish
    1521 Ford, caulk, or dye trying! Did Not Finish
    1539 Joey Fatone 2 Did Not Finish
    1540 Lance Bass Did Not Finish
    1543 Joey Fatone 1 Did Not Finish
    1509 Gaza Strippers Did Not Finish
    1533 big mouth Did Not Finish
    1534 Chi-town Rising! Did Not Finish
    1541 The Gapers Blockade Did Not Finish
    1552 big mouth 2 Did Not Finish
    1572 The Transplants Did Not Finish
    1576 Mighty Ducks Did Not Finish
    1577 The Hawks Did Not Finish
    1592 Bill Brasky’s Revival Did Not Finish
    1525 Blood, Sweat, and Beers Did Not Finish
    1563 Three brothers and the regulars Did Not Finish
    1568 Team 4 Did Not Finish
    1523 Michael & The Quigley’s Did Not Finish
    1526 Cops Did Not Finish
    1549 Team Sunnyvale Did Not Finish
    1585 The Half-Blood Sprints Did Not Finish
    1606 Gotham’s Reckoning Did Not Finish
    1610 Trip Deuce Niner Did Not Finish
    1616 Team Wildcard Did Not Finish
    1513 Team Teamwork Did Not Finish
    1542 CUBEERS Did Not Finish
    1556 WERK OUT Did Not Finish
    1607 The Knights who say Ni! Did Not Finish
    1504 Willy Wonka’s Wet Dream Did Not Finish
    1515 Cunning Stunts Did Not Finish
    1538 Wigs Jacked for Jesus Did Not Finish
    1573 The Men of the Merle St. Marty Did Not Finish
    1603 Team UNITY Did Not Finish
    1605 Hot-N-Ready Samurai Did Not Finish


    [tab title=”Checkpoint Contributions”]

    Incredible Checkpoint Contributions

    And while it’s hard to say enough about all the crazy-amazing-beautiful-inspiring-people that make CHIditarod possible, we continue to cherish our checkpoints through the years (new and old alike) who treat us and YOU right, we are thankful to have such great businesses in our community that love a good time.  We are THRILLED to recognize our 2017 checkpoints, please go support them as they support fighting hunger!

    Checkpoint Donation
    Cobra Lounge 274


    [tab title=”Donations”]

    Prize, Food, Equipment & Service Donations

    Chicago White Sox


    Vavoom Pinups

    Solemn Oath Brewery

    Miskatonic Brewery

    CH Distillery

    Uptown Underground

    Chicago Bulls

    Life Storage

    The Kraft Heinz Company

    Roots Handmade Pizza

    Mahoney’s Pub & Grille

    Five Star Bar

    Cobra Lounge

    Phyllis’ Musical Inn

    Metropolis Coffee

    Pompei Bakery

    Franklin Printing and Graphics

    Toni Patisserie & Cafe

    Kim Colweck and Starcom Chicago