Pics of CHIditarod 2013 Trophies

Best Bribe

Food Drive – 2nd Place

Food Drive – 3rd Place

People’s Choice

2nd Place Time

3rd Place Time

Spirit of Chiditarod

Best Sabotage

Most Honorable Dishonorable Mention

Rookie of the Year Award

2nd best Art Cart

2nd Best in Show

3rd Best in Show

Best Food Cart

Best Costume

Team Exposé – The Secret Gentleman’s Club

Members of the secret Gentlemen’s Club bring some serious creativity to CHIditarod. Here’s a little show and tell to inspire our less seasoned teams:

From the team,

“We have been trying to get good photos of our team for a few years now. Sometimes we have a good shot, sometimes we forget. We just though it would be fun to send this to you and share. Yay CHIditarod!”

Team Gitos Buskahosen 2008
Team Sunday Drivers 2010
Team Tit 2011
Team Antic 2011
Team Honorable Mention 2012
Team Secret Gentlemen’s Photo Studio and Certainly Not a Speakeasy 2012

Secret Gentlemen's Club

2011 Wall of Shame


Uggg, what a mess. Such a mess, in fact, that it took us a month to compile this year’s wall of shame, and we’ll be raising the cart deposit cost for 2012. Cart-abandoning teams, we declare shenanigans upon you! And in so doing, you now have a place on the 2011 CHIditarod Wall of Shame.


#64 – The Deloreans

2010’s Goonies returned in 2011 as The Deloreans. They rocked in every way possible, except one… They held a Save the Clocktower campaign (raising funds for charity), bribed with custom-printed Calvin Kleins, and gave an artsy Showcase performance. However, we found their cart, broken into large chunks, littered throughout the finish line grounds. The destruction was catestrophic and total. They called a while later to explain – quite a story. Fantastic, upsetting, and graphic. Tragically, the Flux Capacitor was never recovered.


Deloreans, circa CHIditarod VI.


Deloreans, circa 1985.


#99 – Dead Presidents

The dead presidents were hoping to leave their mark in history. Instead, henceforth, their actions shall echo in infamy into eternity. The economy is in shambles. Our foreign policy is irresponsible. Education is one of the worst when compared against other developed nations. Our health care is grossly unjust. Unemployment is soaring. All thanks to their doing. Need we say more? Yes, yes we do.

After participating in CHIditarod VI, seemingly for a good cause the dead presidents seemed to be vying for the chance to redeem themselves. We the people gave them the chance to correct the errors of their ways. Instead they came and spilled their guts, and by guts we mean left us to clean up their mess up once again. The truth is they swayed us with false pretenses of things that could be. They raised our hopes for a brighter future for our children. All they left us with was broken hearts, the american nightmare and an abandoned shopping cart. Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on me.

Nevermore will we vote for the wrong guy… nevermore.





#102 – Accidental Inception: The Quest for Contraception





#107 – Peace Be Da Journey

White people appropriating black culture, very poorly: At least if you’re gonna do this guys, take some real lessons and figure out what to do with a cart.






#168 – Goldman Sacks

Embodying evil on a small scale, this team doesn’t seem to have the financial resources to cause a recession. They DO, however, have it in their power to enact evil on a small level by neglecting to clean up their own mess. Bravo, team. The real life financial mess is way too complicated to understand, and so these genius situationist artists, in demonstrating their commitment to caring about community and personal accountability, they’ve given us a great way to understand the larger picture. Well done. We get it. You’ve screwed us over and you don’t care.






#185 – The Thundergnomes

Oh Thundergnomes. Some gnomes really add to a garden, adding a bit of kitsch and little fun filled whimsy. Yet sometimes, they’re just tacky. Speaking of tacky, let’s talk about your cart. There are so many things wrong with seeing it thrown in a garbage bin. Carts don’t belong in the garbage; they’re not Gnomeo and Juliet DVD’s. And I know the pointed hats give an air of class, but drinking Busch and not recycling the box that trash is wrapped in is not the earth conscious way of the Gnome people. Those hats need to be earned with a green thumb, not by thumbing your nose at the rules of a charity event.

Gnomes used to be synonymous with good times and good gardens, but what are you doing to your own society? You do, however, make a solid argument for plastic pink flamingos.






#188 – Alpha Beta

Alpha Beta brings true dedication to a theme. Coming to the race dressed as douchebags, they committed heavily to their aesthetic even after the race by ditching their carts. What an incredible display of douchebaggery!



2011 Photos and Video







2011 Results

Chiditarod VI

CHIditarod VI exceeded all expectations! On March 5, 2011; 146 teams and close to 200 volunteers participated in yet another epically large and successful CHIditarod!

This year the Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation benefited from both Food donations equating to “breaking news flash” 19Klbs/8.6 metric tons! AND Monetary donations just tipping over $18.5K. This is 7x the amount of direct money donations from the previous year!! And again Area 3 Allstars came through with over 3 tons of food, plus a cheese plate to make it fancy! But seriously, we couldn’t pull this thing off without the generous support of many a volunteer, racer and these fine upstanding organizations & people that donated time, resources, and materials to help bring about pretty much the best day of the year! We THANK YOU for making CHIditarod feel better than any holiday/birthday morning in recollection!

Here’s are drum-core call out of all the fine folks that donated cold-hard-cash to the cause – our complete list of monetary donations made to CAHF. Including all teams that raised funds via the GiveForward website (making it simple, easy and fun to jump on the bandwagon to help your team pull ahead in the race and offered up great viewing of the tenacious & awesome battle towards glory for our top fundraisers – bringing in $4000+ and $5000+ respectively), plus teams who either were not present to collect prize monies or graciously donated their award straight back to CAHF, plus close to all our checkpoints kicking back a portion of the days profits!

Monetary Donations from Teams & Checkpoints:

  • Hipsters – $5.00
  • Candyland Crew – $25.00
  • Team Awesome (aka PacMan) – $45.00
  • Brutals – $50.00
  • RMS Tit – $50.00
  • Team Axis of Evil – $50.00
  • Queequeg’s Ambergris – $50.00
  • O-ren Ishii & the Crazy 88’s – 51.00
  • America’s Largest Water Park – $75.00
  • The Deloreans – $90.86
  • S.O.D. – $100.00
  • Lochness Mobster – $100.00
  • Club Lucky – $100.00
  • Will Act For Food – $115.00
  • Nick’s Beer Garden – $130.00
  • Darkroom – $136.00
  • Five Star Bar – $150.00
  • Go Go Gadget – $155.00
  • French Toast Mafia – $160.00
  • CHIditarod Coreganizers – $165.00
  • Cobra Lounge – $170.00
  • The Flat Iron – $175.00
  • Team Who – The Doctors Who Save Chicago – $190.00
  • Phyllis’ Musical Inn (donating to The Greater Chicago Food Depository – $200.00)
  • Kermit and Friends & Muppets take Chicago – $200.00
  • Hobo-Q3: God of Hellfire – $215.00
  • AREA 3 ALL STARS – $250.00
  • Goldman Sacks – $250.00
  • Twisted Spoke – $250.00
  • Innertown Pub – $260.00
  • Accidental Inception: The Quest for Contraception – $395.00
  • How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb/TEAM DR. STRANGELOVE – $550.00
  • The Wedding Crashers – $1,260.00
  • Bottom Lounge (2010 & 2011 donation) – $1500.00
  • TheBeagleBoys – $1,801.00
  • Action-Squad – $4,208.00
  • The Derailers – $5,024.00

Chiditarod is and always will be a charitable and sponsor-free event. Various organizations throughout Chicago and the local region donated time, expertise, goods and goodwill to this year’s Chiditarod and our chosen charity – The Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation. We’d like to publically thank the following non-exhaustive list of folks and organizations.

Food/Clothing/Other Donations:

And while It’s hard to say enough about all the crazy-amazing-beautiful-inspiring-people that make CHIditarod possible, we continue to cherish our checkpoints through the years (new and old alike) who treat us and YOU right, we are thankful to have such great businesses in our community that love a good time! Go support them as they support us!


Please recall our full list of 2011 Prize & Time Results is still top of minds; our Surveys continue to be best way to get your feedback & experiences applied to future years of planning, that while your best bet to find lost articles is to contact bars directly, we may still have some insight to Lost/Found items; and we are still collating information for the Wall of Shame, so that we can get your deposits back to their deserving homes along with the carts that were taken (if you are one of the few still waiting, please email your cart return photo to ASAP).


Our 2011 Gallery is now up. Please email us links to your photos, videos, and awesome stories and we’ll post them in your honor.


Two other areas of note:

I. We DO have 2011 Merchandise available if you happened to miss out. Due to the uniqueness of each item, we’ll ask for some identifying details to help us match you with your new apparel. Your request must include 1. gender, 2. size, 3. color/design/style (aka black/wings/hat or pink/graffiti cart/tank or even red/logo/longsleeve). Go to the ChiRod Store to make your purchase.

II. We revamp and add to our Sabotage rules each year, based on a few bad apples out there that a) don’t know what creative vs destructive means, b) don’t pay attention to the rules to begin with, or c) would like to race and be merry without having to always be on the defensive we WILL be taking measures to ensure a fun/safe/creative race for EVERYONE next year. Be Forewarned, we are watching!


2011 Prize & Time Results

2011 Official Prize & Time Results

OMG, It’s within the week and we’ve got Prizes & Finish Times up! Our Awards Ceremony was once again kicked off by Environmental Encroachment and hosted at the Bottom Lounge. You all truly outdid yourselves this year by coming out 146 teams strong to race in snowy and windy weather. We’ll be listing our final tally of both funds raised and food driven to Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation within the week (along with our multitude of thank you’s), but for now, please know that you ALL are deserving of prizes, praise and awe for all the creativity and gusto you bring to the CHIditarod!

Team # Team Name Prize Category
92 The Derailers (over $5000 raised) Most Epic Fundraiser
80 Candyland Crew (Tweeted throughout the race… fun, interesting, colorful tweets especially when they spelled out C-H-I-D-I-T-A-R-O-D over the course of a few tweets) Chitwitterod
92 The Derailers (Steam Engine Train, wheels that moved, train whistle and dressed in period costume) Best art cART
82 Action-Squad (Stagecoach with top seat, monsterously huge – in the racer category and could fit through the entrance door – in period costume!) Industrial Design
199 Hipsters (winners of the die roll among last 10 teams) DFL
62 Area 3 All Stars #2 (2:58:00 Finish Time) 3rd Place Time
84 Teen Team Wolf! (2:54:00 Finish Time) 2nd Place Time
53 Area 3 All Stars #1 aka The Lady Gaga’s (2:49:00 Finish Time) 1st Place Time
129 Bridesmaidzillas! (200lbs of food) — special mention goes to the Hipsters who were not present, but by all accounts had closer to 250lbs of food 2nd Best in Food
53, 52, 70 Area 3 Allstars #1, #2, #3 (over 9,000lbs of food) Best in Food
139 The Loch Ness Mobsters (impressive paper máché Loch Ness Monster that ate garbage and pooped whiskey) Bike Marshal’s Choice
107 Peace Be Da Journey (feathers for tarring and feathering are not LEAVE NO TRACE) Most Honorable Dishonorable Mention
82 Action-Squad 3rd Best in Show
98, 122 RMS Tit & anic (the humongous ships’ two halfs and teams dressed in period costume) 2nd Best in Show
110, 66 Kermit and Friends & Muppets take Chicago (home-made muppet head awesomeness!) Best in Show
115 Gybe Ho’s (muffins, feeding their way into the judges hearts) Best Bribe
53 Area 3 All Starts #1 aka The Lady Gaga’s (handed out “skip this checkpoint” certificates, stumping even some judges with the official CHIditarod patch logo) Best Sabotage
92 The Derailers (presented by Action-Squad for helping the Action-“damsels”-Squad in distress out when their cart broke down)…wasn’t meant to replace, but award given instead of Spirit of CHIditarod Action Squad Dynasty Award of Epic Awesomeness
98 RMS Tit (for correctly answering trivia to spell CARTPARTY! and writing a riveting tale about Frederick Cart) Chi-Trivia
103 Team Axis of Evil (received extra bonus points for presentation with an assist from Soup R Crackers – Crazy world Helluva lot of evil Incarceration unfairly, Dirty bombs Infidals Attack Tyrannasaurus rex And nuclear weapons Rebuttal to that On this day Day of chiditarod!) Acrostic
60 SwingVote (due to copywrite infringement and national safety this is not available, ok it was probably lost otherwise, but ya know) Lim-rod
68 Team Z (“Majestic Unicorns are fucking Awesome!” and if you look on the internetz you’ll find the picture to go with it) Pictogram
140 Brutals Puzzle
163 Queequeg’s Ambergris (purple rain/prince move that has apparently won this man many a prize, including a wife!) Best Dance Move
178 Just The Tip Best in Vulva
177 Rainbow Bright (babes doing synchronized dance moves) – and rumor has it that the Deloreans were robbed of the chance to compete here – something about tear away pants! Short Cart Showdow
Breen Clan – for being amazingly resourceful and resiliant and feedin’ the needin’ in a massive way. Rawkin Support Award
Clem – Phyllis’s for being the one checkpoint to be with us every year of the CHIditarod and leading the way in making donations of profits from the day towards Charity Rawkin Support Award
Minimonk – for hosting the starting line year after year Rawkin Support Award
TLP – for being an outstanding mentor and without whom the CHIditarod would not be what it is today Rawkin Support Award
Action-Squad – for racing with us each year, leading the way in Spirit of non-sabotage but having fun and helping others enjoy the CHIditarod and having outstanding costume/themes each year! Rawkin Support Award
Caroline Jourdes (wings logo), Carl Brahms (graffiti cart) Design Contest Winners



2011 Finish Times – based on us getting your time card at Bottom Lounge. And we are totally remiss in the gigantic advances in automated timekeeping from this year, special thanks to Paul Pagel for getting us headed the right direction for open-source Chidita-timekeeping!

Team # Team Name Finish Time Route #
53 Area 3 All Stars #1 14:48:47 8
84 Teen Team Wolf! 14:54:15 5
62 Area 3 All Stars #2 14:58:50 7
115 Gybe Ho’s 15:04:28 2
113 Lowered Expectations 15:04:54 2
67 Jackie Treehorn & His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom 15:05:13 6
75 The Mr. T Party 15:09:23 6
117 Come On Down 15:12:52 2
47 Danger Zone 15:13:01 8
153 The Patriotic Rednecks 15:13:26 7
134 Homogeneous Homoless 15:14:45 8
70 Area 3 All Stars #3 15:14:58 6
89 Ghost Busters 15:15:44 4
152 Jurrassic Cart 15:16:53 6
163 Queequeg’s Ambergris 15:17:42 5
166 Angry Birds 15:18:56 4
191 Legends of the Ring 15:21:53 5
114 Flying Carp 15:24:18 2
168 Goldman Sacks 15:24:47 6
200 Kill it in the Butt 15:27:21 6
171 Cock, Tail and Wieners 15:28:24 1
170 Or Are you Just Happy to See ME? 15:29:37 8
178 Just The Tip 15:30:36 8
59 Pinot & Friends 15:37:10 7
96 Salesmanipulationship. 15:37:41 3
56 Biggest Boozers 15:38:56 7
140 Brutals 15:41:15 3
71 Third time’s a charm 15:41:57 6
160 ¡MUCHA LUCHA! 15:42:34 6
52 Cereal Killers 15:43:48 3
54 Team Bullrun 15:44:20 8
65 Pequod 15:44:51 6
179 Teenage Mutant Ninja Lesbos 15:45:02 3
184 Oh Gnome You Din’t! 15:45:38 6
68 Team Z 15:45:47 3
190 5 Wise Men 15:46:42 3
48 Penguin Dragons 15:47:16 8
169 Hottie Dogs 15:48:39 7
137 Windy City Rollers 15:49:33 4
112 Black Swan B-Team 15:50:28 2
130 Bananas 15:51:20 5
124 Born Blitzed 15:52:53 6
125 Ghost Dog 15:58:14 7
131 Team Who 15:58:30 5
180 Party Down 15:58:54 8
58 Blue Barracudas 16:03:27 7
107 Peace Be Da Journey 16:03:54 8
73 Team Nicholas Gajewski 16:06:14 6
186 Team Fabulous 16:09:33 8
196 Team RamJam 16:11:38 4
165 Feliz Na’vi-dad 16:14:21 4
49 Team Awesome 16:17:06 8
97 La Fuente de Oro Mexicana 16:18:03 1
182 Blood Sweat and Beers 16:18:20 3
147 Schnitzengigells 16:18:46 1
119 The Rapids 16:19:41 1
90 Up Dawgs *cART* 16:21:07 3
120 We’ll make it to the show 16:22:17 1
135 Estrogen Heavy 16:22:36 2
99 DEAD PRESIDENTS 16:24:11 4
167 Sleaze Patrol 16:25:15 5
123 The Chiefs 16:26:31 5
187 The French Toast Mafia 16:26:42 1
126 Haulin’ Oats 16:26:57 8
91 Hells Bananas *cART* 16:28:18 3
77 The Wedding Crashers 16:28:57 6
74 Go Go Gadget-arod 16:29:46 6
104 Team America (Fuck Yeah!) 16:33:13 2
146 Better late than pregnant 16:34:58 3
159 S.O.D. 16:35:41 5
92 The Derailers *cART* 16:36:35 5
51 Dead Last 16:37:58 8
105 Fire and Nice 16:38:13 3
172 Running of The Bulls 16:38:33 3
64 The Deloreans 16:38:50 6
121 The Death Mobile *cART* 16:38:56 3
144 Soup R’ Crackers *cART* 16:39:08 2
103 Team Axis of Evil 16:40:27 5
158 The Five Amigos 16:41:05 6
143 Farmers from Illinois – Oregon Trail Style *cART* 16:41:37 3
175 Schoolin’ & Foolin’ 16:41:58 3
83 Chicks with Dicks 16:42:33 5
129 Bridesmaidzillas! 16:45:24 4
139 The Loch Ness Mobsters 16:46:28 5
108 Physical Challenge Please 16:46:56 2
101 Breakfast Club 16:47:44 3
78 How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb 16:48:03 6
118 DUI’s 16:48:41 2
76 De-evolution! 16:50:22 6
151 Large Marge and the Mother Truckers 16:50:45 3
128 Angry Birds 16:51:29 3
177 Rainbow Bright 16:51:55 7
110 Kermit and Friends 16:52:45 4
149 Chick-fil-A 3 16:54:18 4
55 The Bill Murrays 16:54:31 8
72 Majestic Unicorns 16:54:40 6
136 High 5 Functions 16:56:10 5
82 Action-Squad 16:56:15 5
63 Spice Girls 16:56:21 6
57 Polymeracers 16:58:51 7
185 The Thundergnomes 16:59:26 3
61 angry dragon 16:59:32 8
132 Frozen Aqua Foot Lube 16:59:40 6
116 Sarah Palin’s Chicago 17:00:01 3
183 Pac that Ass Up 17:01:37 5
142 Will Act For Food *cART* 17:01:41 1
98 RMS Tit *cART* 17:02:13 3
122 anic *cART* 17:02:16 3
141 Black Swan 17:02:24 2
102 Accidental Inception: The Quest for Contraception 17:03:02 5
69 Dudestorm 17:03:17 6
81 Pure Motherfuckin’ Magic 17:05:49 3
148 Chick-fil-A 1 17:06:18 4
111 Mountain Attack Kill 17:07:24 2
80 Candyland Crew 17:07:59 5
87 Old Norse 17:11:58 3
109 COWABUNGA, DUDE! 17:13:53 2
106 SCAMP 17:14:13 3
150 Chick-fil-A 2 17:17:10 4
50 Man in a Canoe 17:24:00 3
154 Wilocity 17:24:00 8
199 Hipsters DFL Contenders 5
198 Laidback Olympians DFL Contenders 7
133 o-ren ishii & the crazy 88’s DFL Contenders 7
164 Schnitzengiggle DFL Contenders 4
60 SwingVote DFL Contenders 7
176 Wrolf Olsons DFL Contenders 3
188 Alpha Beta 4
192 America’s Largest Water Park 3
79 Ankle Socks 3
95 Football Head and Friends 2
93 Hobo-Q 3: God of Hellfire *cART* 6
145 Hobo-Q 3: What about Bob? *cART* 4
162 Lambda Lambda Lambda 8
173 Milk is for babies, when you get older you drink beer 7
66 Muppets take Chicago 3
86 PRAG 5
174 Runs With Scissors 8
193 Smurfs 3
88 Team Bunny 4
97 Team Charlie Sheen 3
181 Team friendship 6
94 This Is How We Do It 8
155 Waffles 1
156 Wasj U 1
198 Whiskey 6


2010 Wall of Shame

Not bad, not bad.  We are happy to mention that nearly all of you removed your carts this year – thank you, thank you, thank you!  The fame-to-shame ratio is WAY up compared to last year.  This could be due to the heftier $50 cart deposit, but we like to think it’s because the noble CHIditarod participants care enough to leave no trace and help make our lives easier.  But enough Fame.. let’s get to the meat of it.  Cart-abandoning teams, we declare shenanigans upon you! And in so doing, you now have a place on the 2010 CHIditarod Wall of Shame.


#5 – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

These guys are incredible.  First they were bestowed the less-then-coveted worst in show award for their general douchebag-a-thon start to finish, then they sent us a photo depicting “removal” of their cart from the Bottom Lounge, which we promptly found in an alley a block away the following day.  AND they continually emailed us saying they brought their cart home.  Liars.  Detention!


So.. really.. what’s with the bike frame chained to the cart?


Ferris, please. You’ve gone too far. We’re going to get busted.


#31 – Jackie Treehorn & His Magnificant Orchestra of Doom

We have to hand it to this team.  Their cart was the ONLY one remaining in the Bottom Lounge parking lot when our strike-ops team arrived on-scene.  They humped people… but had decent plumage.  We like how they thought to leave their number so we could use it again next year.  Thanks, geniuses.


The last cart standing.  Ballsy.


Not sure how this ties in with Lebowski… but The Dude abides.

#88 – Revulvas

A good looking team, for sure.  Too bad they’re liars.  After leaving their cart behind some dumpsters in an alley near the Bottom Lounge, they then had the gumption to send us pictures of them “returning their cart” to the supermarket.  Not only did they leave their cart, they spent time and energy taking a picture for the deposit refund.  That’s not sabotage, that’s just… lying.  Dirty stinky lying.  Sure their CHIditarod cart was wet, and full of trash.  But there’s nothing wrong with an “experienced” cart – one that’s been around the block a couple times, you know…


Poor cart.  All alone.  Plenty of decent caution tape still attached.  <tear>


E.T… cute!

VLUU L200  / Samsung L200

Faking it.  Awww… cute!

#70 – Drill. Tap. Screw

Rumor has it this team left their cart outside of Five Star after discovering they had been the lucky recipient’s of CJ Ownz’s CHIditarod Boot (winner of best sabotage, btw).  They then left their cart, hopped into a cab, and headed for the finish line.  We didn’t end up finding their cart, but the story is worth telling, as it’s funny and educational.  Screwdrivers, duct tape, and wire cutters – part of your next CHIditarod survival kit.


CVS Cart

Found with it’s spirit broken, sad, and alone – on Odgen Avenue.


Next time, gadget.  Next time.